Yamato's gaze flickered away, reaching for his chopsticks again but only to anxiously fiddle with the two stems.
"You're not forcing me, Kakashi.. I just didn't know where I could stand with you without being seen as an interloper. I tried to assure Gai-san that it wasn't the case either, but I don't think he wanted to believe me.."
His lips pressed into a frown "He'll likely never forgive me for taking you on that mission either, it's a wonder that he hasn't petitioned for my demotion already."
He shot Kakashi a hopeless look, but there was some humour there and some amount of hope, brought on by the Jounin's reassurance. Hearing that Kakashi didn't agree with Gai's assessment, went a long way to easing the distress he'd been feeling and to know that some part of his former captain would always be his settled, strange and comforting, into his bones.
The creeping sense of dread that he'd had, that tying up the past was somehow cutting him out of the future, ebbed a little more and he felt somewhat foolish for taking Kakashi's gestures in the manner he had, unwittingly extending his own distress. (A mask and sword, still set aside sprung to mind, but he brush the thought aside, that he could deal with later, when he was ready to.)
It by no means left either of them blameless for the lack of communication, but it was progress.
"..And I'm relieved to hear you say that, Senpai. I.. was beginning to think that I'd imagined most of our time in ANBU."
There was a shy smile to his words, the nostalgia of his thoughts and the lilt of his old name from Kakashi's mouth, warming him and untangling a little of the knot in his chest. Maybe he could do this again, just this once. It was so hard to not trust the older shinobi after all..
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"You're not forcing me, Kakashi.. I just didn't know where I could stand with you without being seen as an interloper. I tried to assure Gai-san that it wasn't the case either, but I don't think he wanted to believe me.."
His lips pressed into a frown "He'll likely never forgive me for taking you on that mission either, it's a wonder that he hasn't petitioned for my demotion already."
He shot Kakashi a hopeless look, but there was some humour there and some amount of hope, brought on by the Jounin's reassurance. Hearing that Kakashi didn't agree with Gai's assessment, went a long way to easing the distress he'd been feeling and to know that some part of his former captain would always be his settled, strange and comforting, into his bones.
The creeping sense of dread that he'd had, that tying up the past was somehow cutting him out of the future, ebbed a little more and he felt somewhat foolish for taking Kakashi's gestures in the manner he had, unwittingly extending his own distress.
(A mask and sword, still set aside sprung to mind, but he brush the thought aside, that he could deal with later, when he was ready to.)
It by no means left either of them blameless for the lack of communication, but it was progress.
"..And I'm relieved to hear you say that, Senpai. I.. was beginning to think that I'd imagined most of our time in ANBU."
There was a shy smile to his words, the nostalgia of his thoughts and the lilt of his old name from Kakashi's mouth, warming him and untangling a little of the knot in his chest.
Maybe he could do this again, just this once. It was so hard to not trust the older shinobi after all..