Cooking always had been relaxing. The thoughtless rhythm of stirring and chopping, the familiar sounds and smells, the warmth..... It wrapped him in a sense of safety and home, a daily ritual of care. Even as a child small enough to more easily sit on the counter than stand at it, Neji had helped him cook. It had grown rarer as the boy had grown older, of course, but..... well, here they were.
Here they were, with a whole evening open to talk, and a whole new future laid open beside chapters long since closed in Hizashi's own life. He recalled Neji regarding those same weapons with wonder and delight, eyes so wide they seemed to be on the verge of swallowing up his whole face, features round and childish, hands soft and small. Neji had been so amazed at the chance to practice with him, while he'd been developing his own style. Hizashi was seldom a very expressive man, but there was still a clearly visible warmth touching his smile now, mellow with the richness of nostalgia at the sight. How could he not feel like that, at the chance to finally share something like this with Neji?
"You're right, it was. But daunting as it was, it was the most exciting project they gave me, too. Just by being invited into our ranks, you're being extended a precious trust--Hokage-sama believes in you so strongly, as a shinobi and as a person, that he wants you to be directly responsible for the well-being of the whole village. By passing the entrance exams, you're proving that you have what it takes to fulfill the faith everyone has placed in you."
How different was that from the Hyuuga compound, where a mere accident of birth and others' presuppositions kept you from realizing your full potential? Where, no matter how talented and brilliant and good you were, you would always be regarded as fundamentally less than and lacking?
"Now that you've passed those tests, and learned everything you need to know, that leaves you with a blank slate to work with, and the best resources of Konoha at your fingertips. If you had no limitations, nobody to answer to, and nobody but yourself responsible for shaping who you are..... who do you want to be? What ideal would you make yourself into?"
Taken like that, it was no wonder it had been so daunting for Hizashi--he hadn't approached it as learning a new combat style, but building a new identity, making a new life out of whole cloth. He had cast off the Jyuuken, yes--and with it, the Hyuuga name itself, and its bitterly oppressive legacy. He'd approached it with the exhilaration of absolute freedom and limitless possibilities, a way to cast off the chains his mundane life that so mercilessly bound him and weighed him down. Beneath it all, he had discovered the person he'd always had the potential to be, but never the opportunity. Somehow, putting on a mask had been the only way he'd ever been able to remove the one he'd spent nearly his whole life wearing.
no subject
Here they were, with a whole evening open to talk, and a whole new future laid open beside chapters long since closed in Hizashi's own life. He recalled Neji regarding those same weapons with wonder and delight, eyes so wide they seemed to be on the verge of swallowing up his whole face, features round and childish, hands soft and small. Neji had been so amazed at the chance to practice with him, while he'd been developing his own style. Hizashi was seldom a very expressive man, but there was still a clearly visible warmth touching his smile now, mellow with the richness of nostalgia at the sight. How could he not feel like that, at the chance to finally share something like this with Neji?
"You're right, it was. But daunting as it was, it was the most exciting project they gave me, too. Just by being invited into our ranks, you're being extended a precious trust--Hokage-sama believes in you so strongly, as a shinobi and as a person, that he wants you to be directly responsible for the well-being of the whole village. By passing the entrance exams, you're proving that you have what it takes to fulfill the faith everyone has placed in you."
How different was that from the Hyuuga compound, where a mere accident of birth and others' presuppositions kept you from realizing your full potential? Where, no matter how talented and brilliant and good you were, you would always be regarded as fundamentally less than and lacking?
"Now that you've passed those tests, and learned everything you need to know, that leaves you with a blank slate to work with, and the best resources of Konoha at your fingertips. If you had no limitations, nobody to answer to, and nobody but yourself responsible for shaping who you are..... who do you want to be? What ideal would you make yourself into?"
Taken like that, it was no wonder it had been so daunting for Hizashi--he hadn't approached it as learning a new combat style, but building a new identity, making a new life out of whole cloth. He had cast off the Jyuuken, yes--and with it, the Hyuuga name itself, and its bitterly oppressive legacy. He'd approached it with the exhilaration of absolute freedom and limitless possibilities, a way to cast off the chains his mundane life that so mercilessly bound him and weighed him down. Beneath it all, he had discovered the person he'd always had the potential to be, but never the opportunity. Somehow, putting on a mask had been the only way he'd ever been able to remove the one he'd spent nearly his whole life wearing.