Only half the story

[abileunaspada]

Who: Adela Milani (abileunaspada) & Shisui Uchiha (shunshinoshishi)
Where: The bench near Adela's favourite Takoyaki Stand
When: December 3rd, mid-afternoon
Notes: A mission has recently gone awry and dire consequences were barely avoided. Shisui has already spoken with one party about said mission, and now it's time to address the other.

For some reason the sauce tasted bitter when it should have just been... She didn't even know anymore.

A heavy sigh left the kunoichi donned in civilian wear as she stared down at the plate she held, her hand piercing the second piece of the set. She thought the treat would help fix her mood, but at the moment she just... Couldn't stomach it properly. It just didn't taste good. Adela didn't know what else to do for it except to stare down the plate, as if it would answer things for her.

The details of that incident on the mission were still fresh on her mind, and although they had made it back okay and the rest of the mission had been fine... She just didn't know, she couldn't get over the fact that she had done so poorly. It wasn't a matter of rank, she still should have done better...

The shadow was the first thing that caught her eye, and the first thing that clued her in to the fact that she had let her mind wander quite far before it was brought back. That was when her gaze lifted and she was met with a familiar face, "Shisui-san."

Comments

[shunshinoshishi]

Shisui hadn't tried to pry too much information from Sasuke. He'd only been upset about the fact that someone had tried to swipe an eye-- Again with the eyeballs. It was an Uchiha thing, and he wished people would show them that basic amount of respect. Not that it was likely to happen, obviously; not anytime soon.

However, Shisui held no grudge whatsoever against the rest of Sasuke's team. Missions didn't always go perfect, and that was that.

So bumping into her was purely accidental, and he smiled at the acknowledgement, dipping his head in a sort of bow in return. "Hey." He glances over at the free spot next to her, then back at her, still smiling. "Are you waiting for someone or...~?" May I join you?

[abileunaspada]

"No, go ahead," As she spoke she shifted over, making room for Shisui on the bench before she went back to her takoyaki. Or rather, just prodding around the piece she speared absently. It was a vain hope to think that Shisui wouldn't start a conversation with her, but it was a hope she had nonetheless. Something in her knew this wasn't just a casual visit, or thought she knew anyway.

Maybe it really was just a casual stopping by...

[shunshinoshishi]

He placed his order, and while he waited, eyed her in silence for a moment or two. "Oh dear. I thought it was just cats that tortured their food before they actually ate it."

He could tell that something was up, and resorted to sipping on his water before adding: "Everything okay?"

[abileunaspada]

"... I want to say yes, but not because it's actually okay. It'd just be a lie," Sighing, her shoulders slumped a bit and she let go of the toothpick, letting it roll against the plate to a halt as she looked up to the sky. The question was how honest she wanted to be with Shisui, and if she was honest she wasn't that bothered by how she had battled... If anything, she was more upset by what it took to lead up to that.

"Still thinking about all the mistakes I made, and what it could cost if they're made again."

[shunshinoshishi]

"Mm." He'd have known if she'd lied. She probably didn't have to say anything for him to know that things were not okay. He'd only asked because... well... it seemed like she could talk to someone.

His food was here, and he thanked the vendor before pulling his plate closer to himself. "Well. There isn't any point in ruminating over your mistakes unless you actively work to ensure that they don't happen again, hm?" She might have heard that from everybody else, he figured. But, it was the truth. It was the only practical, logical solution to a problem like that.

He stops to take a piece of meat in his mouth, chewing on it in silence, thinking.

"Did you still want to talk about it? I don't really have anything scheduled for a few hours."

[abileunaspada]

"... I froze. I was too scared to move, and... Senpai almost died for it."

[shunshinoshishi]

Ah. Sasuke. Shisui debates on how to respond, but the chuckle escapes him somehow. "Eh. Didn't you know? Sasuke is a roach. No one will ever get rid of him." Perhaps this was in reference to their childhood, but Shisui also had tremendous faith in Sasuke's skill that he was pretty confident his cousin would have made it out alive anyway.

But he sobers down almost immediately.

"Don't beat yourself up for being scared to death, Adela. Only a fool would go in unafraid." He sipped on his water again. "Courage is being afraid but saddling up anyway. And you did just that, when it mattered the most."

[abileunaspada]

"Don't give me that, the fact that I froze in the first place caused Senpai's leg to break. A second later and he'd be out at least one eye, maybe even bleeding out," She gripped hard at the plate then, her arm shaking before she forced herself to relax. But... Shisui was right, she had made it out alive and she made sure Sasuke hadn't gotten further hurt.

"... I know I acted in the nick of time, but I should have been able to act sooner. And it shouldn't be on anger like it was. I need to do something about it, before there's a chance for it to happen again."

[shunshinoshishi]

"Well. What's happened happened, and I know Sasuke doesn't blame you for any of it. So perhaps you shouldn't blame yourself, either."

He takes another bite out of his food then, looking away for a moment, as if to give her some privacy to collect herself.

"In an ideal world, you wouldn't lash out in anger when your teammate is hurt in an attack." There's a little smile for her then. "There's nothing wrong with feeling anger. It doesn't make you weak; it makes you human. The only solution to making yourself a little more efficient in that department, then, I suppose, is to practice equanimity. And I'll tell you now, you won't get it right away. Trust me, I've tried, too. I still haven't got it down pat."

He was the only one with a Mangekyou sharingan yet, and he carried old wounds that still weighed heavily upon him. Anger, disappointment, sorrow, despair... none of those were foreign to him.

He didn't want her to think she was alone in this.

"You said you've been thinking about things. How would you have done it differently, if you had the chance to revisit the experience?"

[abileunaspada]

"Would have assessed the situation better. Listened to Senpai. Acted sooner," Once more she sighed, finally glancing up to him with an expression filled with guilt and frustration, "I froze because they were from Kiri, but... I shouldn't have. I think the part that's the worst is that it was almost a joke of a fight once I was going. That they were Kiri made me stop, but they weren't worth fearing in the end... So it shouldn't have happened in the first place!"

[shunshinoshishi]

Oh.

Kiri...

"This had something to do with him, didn't it?" He didn't think this 'him' needed any specific mention to figure out who he was referring to.

But going by her expression, Shisui wondered if it would be better for the both of them to relocate to a more private area.

"Would you like to go someplace else?" He was already asking for his order to be put in a bag to go.

[abileunaspada]

Adela had been about to ask about 'him' (just what did Shisui know?), but she didn't get the chance before he asked that question. Silently she nodded, waiting for him to get his food packed up before she just ended up throwing hers away and returning the plate. At that point, she had just lost her appetite entirely.

[shunshinoshishi]

Shisui didn't know much, admittedly. But he did know that she managed to put common sense and her entire life on halt when it came to him.

He picked up his food and walked out of the stand with her.

"My place is nearby. Or there's the park."

[abileunaspada]

"Whichever's closer," Her voice was suspiciously quiet, and she just looked at him while waiting for him to start leading the way. Her head was swimming at the time, between what she had just been talking about and Shisui's mention of 'him'. It had to be... There was no way he meant anyone else, was there?

[shunshinoshishi]

"My place then." He turned, headed towards the apartments. "This way." And he was weaving through the crowded streets pretty fast. It didn't look like she wanted to stand outside with her head full of thoughts for too long.

They were there not long after, though, and he ushered her to the only armchair in the entire apartment. Shisui went to grab himself a chair from the kitchen.

"So. Go on." Wait. "Shall I get us some tea?" Might help calm her nerves a bit.

[abileunaspada]

"Forget the tea," She seated herself but was still clearly tense, staring Shisui down as if she was trying to see him then.

"What do you know, Shisui?" The words weren't trying to push him away, as if he didn't understand. No, they were for just what the words said, that she wanted to know what he meant by 'him'. She had a bad feeling that it was exactly what she thought it was, but... There'd be no point in assuming.

[shunshinoshishi]

Alright, no tea then. He sat himself down in his assigned spot, across from her.

"About what, specifically?"

[abileunaspada]

"When you mentioned 'him' earlier. What did you mean?"

[shunshinoshishi]

He almost shrugged, but let out a soft sigh instead, sliding lower in his seat.

"Sephiroth."

[abileunaspada]

"... I never told you about him," It was a murmur, almost defensive as she looked away and hugged her arms to her chest. Damn...

"... That's sort of part of it, though. When... When I lived in Kiri, I was surrounded by prodigies -- monsters. Sephiroth is my cousin, and likely the single-strongest shinobi I know of. I was probably the weakest kid the clan had produced in a while, not even close to measuring up to members of my own family or other clan kids around me, right up to the night when I was taken away. Part of me... I..."

She bit her lip then, wanting to curl up as she thought about it, "... I was... I thought that I was sent away by my parents 'cause they thought I wouldn't survive and they wanted me to live. I always tell myself that's not the reason why, but part of me thinks it is. That ninja from Kiri would always be too strong for me to take on, and that I'd never measure up or even come close to matching anyone from there. That the instant I'd run into them, it'd just be over. It's... Something I've never told anyone. And... I guess I still haven't gotten over it."

[shunshinoshishi]

"No, you didn't." He doesn't mention where he got his information, though. He'd promised not to tell.

He watched her, listening closely even as he pulled his chair closer. By now he was leaning forward, elbows pressed to knees, fingers laced lightly in front of him.

"Have you ever considered that your parents might have wanted more for you than to just become a ruthless shinobi? I've heard of Kiri. Konoha doesn't do things that way. Here, we place more importance on heart. On love and protection and living for another. That was the basis upon which Konoha was founded; the first shinobi village and it was built out of love by the two strongest shinobi in the world at the time. There is nothing stronger than that, Adela. Fearlessness and power is only one aspect, but it is meaningless to try and move forward in life without the human element.

"Of course you don't match up to them. You don't even come close."

He paused here, watching her.

"Because you far outdo them in the way you think and feel for those around you. It was that selflessness that made you snap out of that moment of fear and come to Sasuke's aid.

"You're not weak, Adela. But you are holding back. The only person dragging you down from reaching your full potential is yourself. And I think, perhaps you might want to start there."

[abileunaspada]

For a long time she was silent, her eyes on the floor as she only listened to what Shisui had to say. About what her parents might have wanted, about the ruthlessness of Kiri, and about how she was supposed to be better than she was, how she outdid typical kiri nin in how she felt about those around her. How it was that strength that pushed her into action in spite of her fear. Part of her knew she was right, but at the same time...

"... What's the guarantee that I won't freeze like that again? When it really counts."

look who's hella late |:

[shunshinoshishi]

"There is no guarantee." He was smiling. "But the chances of it happening again would be a lot smaller if you stopped doubting yourself."

There was the distinct sound of wood scraping against wood as he pushed his chair back before standing. "Maybe... you need to start letting go." He's only done it to three other people before this-- Itachi, Sasuke, and Ami. But here he was, doing it again: his hand in her hair, gently ruffling for a second before he just rests it there. "So, what'll it be? I've got some of that new sparkling grape juice if you don't want tea."

Pffff it's cool

[abileunaspada]

"... Tea's fine," She went a little red when he did that, though she didn't swat it away for the moment. It was kind of embarrassing (though she would use the word annoying), but at the same time Adela appreciated the gesture and what it meant. Or, at least what she thought it meant.

"M'not fond of sweet things."