"I think, somewhere along the way, I got more ruthless." He frowned into the air in front of him, not sure he liked this revelation about himself.

He'd always considered himself a good person, someone who didn't want to waste life, but somewhere, his scale had tipped more toward willingness to sacrifice than it had once been at. One day, long ago, hurting anyone had been difficult, then it had been less.

In-battle kills had been mourned, but moved on from, not dwelled over in a could have, might have been. He'd gone from digging for peace to having it and getting ruthless to maintain it.

And, on some level, if he was honest with himself, he couldn't dig deep enough to feel truly guilty about deaths caused by him anymore, and he was horrified to know it. That was the root of the problem here. Somewhere along the way he'd hit the point where as long as he could keep things secure, the sacrifices were something he didn't feel guilty over.

Was that maybe the real reason he'd clung to Kakashi's mission guilt, letting it grow in his chest? Because he didn't want that ability to just... be gone?

He closed his eyes and let out a deep breath. "I'm not sure I care for it."