sunshineverse | Dude, where's my sword... I mean body.

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zz old game: naruto

Dude, where's my sword... I mean body.

Where: A village in Fire Country
When: March 10th-??
Notes: Kisame is bodyswitched with Tenten. It goes about as well as could be expected

Kisame is more relaxed than usual. The mission was a success, and his partner is Sephiroth, so working together, he doubts very many opponents could overpower them. So he’s watchful, but not on high alert or actively expecting to be attacked when he notices three unidentified people breaking free of their cover. He spares a thought on the foolishness of the attack, and doesn’t even bother to draw Samehada. A kunai is enough.

And the fight is joined and then over in the span of two breaths, and the men—clones—are disintegrating but one gets close enough to touch his thigh and the jolt of pain is enough to set off—

—warning bells. Suddenly his chakra is off, what his eyes tell him is too vividly colored and too sharp, and he feels wrong all over. In that moment, his chakra pressure has slowed down to a trickle, and without the usual pressure to push back against to keep it check, the control he usually maintain falters utterly, and the resulting concern flares his chakra up completely out of control. The flare is probably enough that even Sephiroth could sense it; how embarrassing.

What happens as a result is completely unexpected and surprising. Weapons, possibly dozens, of all different kinds of types and size seem to explode out of him—seals releasing, a part of him dryly observes—and into every nearby surface. The ones launched into the air start raining down a second later, and Kisame shifts on instinct.

Kisame hears shrieks and exclamations of surprise but his focus is on how his body doesn’t move right. His balance is off and he nearly gets impaled because of it. So Kisame goes completely still, breathing in deep, and that’s when the the full impact of the wrongness makes itself obvious.

The hand he’d raised to deflect a falling weapon is small, and definitely not blue. It hits in an instant. The attack, the touch, the pain—all of it a clever way to apply some kind of mind-transfer jutsu. He’s in another body, probably belonging to an enemy, and who knows where, surrounded by—

Civilians mostly, staring at him frightened and confused. Kisame puts on what he hopes looks like an apologetic smile, bringing that small hand up as if covering for embarrassment. His fingertips brush over…Konoha? Is he in a Yamanaka? But what he’s heard about their mind transfer doesn’t imply a switch of consciousnesses, instead just taking over of the victim’s body with the user’s mind.

None of this makes sense, but Kisame needs to try to cover for this. Pretend like nothing’s abnormal, because he’s so vulnerable that he instinctively wants to reach for Samehada and make sure there are no witnesses. But leaving a trail of bodies behind won’t improve the situation, so he laughs, and it’s too high and definitely feminine, but at least sounds awkward and embarrassed.

“I’m sorry; I guess trying out a new jutsu on a mission wasn’t the best idea. Was anyone injured?”

The civilians seem to fall for the excuse, and one even asks if Kisame is okay. Kisame waves it off, focusing on moving this unfamiliar body with as little fumbling as possible. Gathering the weapons is a good first step, and when Kisame spots another Konoha-nin nearby he hisses in undertone, trying to make it sound friendly.

“A little help, please? This will go faster and the quicker all— my weapons are back in order, the better!”

And there’s no way the other ninja would be fooled, if he knows this woman well at all. This is a disaster, and Kisame palms a kunai just in case.

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Lee wasn't exactly sure what had happened. Tenten was meticulous about her weapons, so very careful and under control. And now they were everywhere.

A new jutsu? Lee hadn't been aware she was planning on toying with one while they were on this mission. Whatever it was, it seemed a little dangerous.

"Uh, certainly, Tenten," Lee responded, suddenly spurred into action. He felt silly, just staring and being the least helpful ever, so he quickly got to work snagging her blades and chains up into his arms. He spoke over his shoulder, reaching for a flash bomb. "Perhaps you could run any new jutsu by me before you start experimenting? And we were just about to head home..."

Tenten. Kisame filed the name away as he moved to start picking up the weapons. The spread of them is impressive. Did this woman have them all well-mastered? If so he might want a spar someday, if this didn't end up with one or both of them dead. He'd have to think more on that later, and focused on gathering weapons.

And deflecting suspicion for the moment. He'd have to admit it eventually if only for his own reasons, he supposed, but right now, the civilians were too much of a security risk. Kisame just didn't know how to play it so he didn't get called out on the deception right now. Was this woman rough and tough? One of those kunoichi that kept the traditional feminine ways around her like armor? He had nothing to go by but weapons and impressive muscle tone.

"I'm sorry! I know I should have waited, but I just wanted to try it so much. And I almost made it too!" Kisame tried for a disappointed but determined expression, but wasn't sure how her face moved well enough to be sure it worked. "That's it; more training for me when we get home until I've mastered it!"

That sounded more like himself or Gai-sensei than Tenten or Neji; they had such a cool head about these sort of things. Tenten was more avid about trying out new weapons than working on jutsu itself, unless she had the time. And now was Not The Time.

But Lee decided he could overlook it for now; if she really was all that excited then who was he to judge? "Well, please do inform me next time."

He smiled at her, handing over half a dozen kunai and one of her war fans. "We can head home now so you can master it! After we give our report, of course."

“Of course.” Kisame fought to keep the smile on his face. This was a headache.

Returning to Konoha would end badly. He needed to write a missive to Sephiroth and the girl in his body immediately to prevent some sort of conflict there. And he needed to do something about all of these weapons. At least they’d gathered them all— Ah, there was an idea.

“But first, let’s go somewhere a little less open. I want to get these all back where they belong. Come on.”

Kisame turned, hoping it would be enough to make the other shinobi follow, and started walking towards the edge of the village, and the relative seclusion of the trees.

Lee nodded, understanding the need for space. No need to get anyone hurt while they were carrying so many weapons.

"Do you need me to help you write out the seals, Tenten?" It would have to be her chakra to get them all taken care of but he didn't mind doing some of the more tedious tasks for filling out the scrolls.

Suddenly Kisame wondered if she had been trying out something new and hadn't been telling her teammate. He was fairly certain the seals in question had been on her body, and not in the scrolls he's well aware of all around her person. But he wasn't going to say it out here.

"We'll see! Let's go over there. The trees will give us better cover."

Kisame was vulnerable here, and the cover would be helpful. Out here, in a street and unsure of his speed in his body, an attack would be hard to dodge or deflect. In forest it would be harder to aim properly and stay hidden, and there were plenty of things to take shelter behind if necessary.

Lee was unaware of Tenten's body seals. Her weapons training and abilities far outstretched his own and he left that kind of specialization to her.

"As long as you feel you do not need my help, then," Lee said, his tone still blissfully ignorant of the switch that had occurred. Certainly, Tenten usually did not mind his help but it was her prerogative to accept or decline any offers he made to her.

He didn't think they necessarily needed cover, unless... "Are you afraid they might all explode off of you again? Perhaps the seals you used before were not strong enough."

Kisame had trouble holding back the sidelong look. That would be the last thing he'd assume after witnessing a large number of seals going off at once. One or two, perhaps, could be insufficient in strength and erode away until the sealed item came forward, but several at the same time? Almost always a chakra problem.

But he didn't say anything about it just yet. There was another reason he could give, and that one was probably the better one for the situation. "The seals aren't in my scrolls--"

And inserting a name or nickname would have been the natural thing, but Kisame didn't trust his limited experience with Konoha-nin to make a guess. And kid would out him too quickly, so he went quiet abruptly and increased his pace towards the trees.

"Not on scrolls? Then where?"

Lee was quiet a minute then it hit him; where else were seals often written if not on scrolls?

"Oh!" That would explain the need for privacy. Lee grinned, excitement filling his eyes. "You have been working on new jutsu! That is quite exciting, Tenten! Gai-sensei would be proud!"

Kisame knows that Konoha keeps consistent three man teams, at least in the early ranks. The familiarity and the mention of a sensei is information filed away and used to make the conclusion: more than just mission teammates. He needs to get this done quickly.

"It's not mastered yet!"

He hopes that this woman is proud enough to say something like that. If they are close, this teammate might react very badly to someone else in her body. Kisame wastes no time. He feels out her chakra in a second, and decides a quicker movement won't go too badly. He's almost positive any seals on this woman's body have already released. He focuses and uses the kiri shunshin to get fully under the trees.

And then bites his tongue at his own carelessness. That's very much a Kiri-nin technique, and he wasn't even thinking about affinities. Safe to say that water is a potential, if not a primary affinity, from the way it worked. There's nothing to cover up the mistake, and Kisame drops the weapons to strip out of her clothing.

He sees seals immediately, on arms and stomach, and hopes very fervently she doesn't keep any on her back. That would be awkward and he is certain he couldn't tolerate this other stranger near his back.

But he won't let the slip show, so Kisame turns and puts one hand on his hip. "Well? Bring the rest of those over here, please; I can't get them back where they belong otherwise."

Quite without warning, Lee's arm swings wide and his free hand comes up with a kunai pulled from his leg holster and twirled to a deadly edge in an expert movement. His eyes are hard, mouth set in a grim line and looking far more serious than he ever has.

It takes a moment for Neji to realize who he's got at knife point, and his expression clears to neutrality that still looks out of place with Lee's usually expressive face.

"Ah, Tenten, I apologize....." Thick brows furrow over a frown, head cocked as his voice doesn't come out quite right. It's then he realizes his arms are clad in green, fingers wrapped in bandages he hasn't worn for years, and a swift check to the back of his head reveals a rather unfortunate hair cut that's almost more alarming than the apparent conclusion.

"Am I Lee!?"

If Kisame had been more relaxed, and not expecting an attack at any moment, he might have been caught off guard. As it was, he only had time for the nearly instinctual drawing of the blade he'd kept at his side since ending up in this woman's body. There is a shing of metal on metal as it met the kunai, and Kisame was reaching for kunai when the attack stalls, so he stalls that motion, but the sword, held in a reverse grip doesn't move.

His eyes are narrowed, and his expression isn't expected surprise, but rather calculating and wary. Given that this person is experiencing the same thing that he is, Kisame doesn't see a point in trying to lie.

"At least you know who you're switched with, stranger-san. There will be a new seal somewhere on your body that will match location to the body you're currently inhabiting. You were attacked, eh? That's what the start of this was."

She seemed kind of snappy, so Lee shut his lips. Perhaps she was just frustrated that she had lost control. Tenten was very proud of her weapon handling prowess. For her to let everything go flying was almost out of character, though mistakes were made by everyone.

She disappears and Lee gasps lightly, almost worried she was whisked away. But then he sensed her presence only further under the cover of the boughs and Lee's brows rise higher up on her forehead. "Tenten! I have never seen you use that nuance of technique before!"

He was learning a lot about Tenten lately. When had she transformed so much? Granted, they hadn't been put on missions together much until recently...

"Oh! Y-yes, of course!" Lee hopped up his pace and brought her the weapons, glancing away as he got closer. They had known each other enough that he had seen her semi-stripped before; sometimes missions called for a quick clothing change or for clothes to be ripped off for make-shift tourniquets. But he did steal a few looks at her seals. Yes, those were definitely new.

Kisame started by sealing some of the weapons away. At least the seals weren't too strange from what he was used to, so he was fairly sure they were going back in the right way, but the chakra use required made him grimace. His chakra control was good, but for his chakra. This body's was so different. It was going to take a lot more concentration than he could probably spare to keep the weapons sealed.

And there was still the matter of her teammate. Maybe they were virtual strangers, in spite of clues otherwise, or maybe the kid was just that trusting. Kisame was tempted to solve that problem and was fingering a kunai when he turned around, but that would only make this worse.

"At least we're away from the civilians; this will have to do. That would be because I am not your teammate. Look, kid, you were attacked right before the weapons released, weren't you? And whoever got a chance to touch her--the body I'm currently in. That touch applied a mind-transfer jutsu of some kind."

The truth made Kisame relax, and the weapons seals suddenly became easier to maintain, but the confession reminded him of what else he needed to do. He pulled of her pants quickly and sure enough, in the same spot where he'd felt the pain was a seal, ugly and inelegant compared to the woman's seals, but he'd bet that the same mark was now on his body.

"I thought so; exact same placement."

Lee's brows drew together, his body tensing the more Tenten, or whoever this was, talked. Not his teammate. A mind-transfer jutsu.

Lee gasped, clapping a hand over his mouth. Then that meant, that meant--"You are not Tenten!"

This was just what it was like with Gai-sensei and Iruka-sensei. Except Lee had no idea who this person was. So Tenten could be anywhere, and this person could be anyone, friend or foe.

Lee didn't even fall into a defensive stance, despite knowing he shouldn't let his familiarity with Tenten soften him to a stranger. Instead, Lee felt a blush overcome him at the removal of Tenten's pants. Knowing it was a stranger in her body made it seem like he was looking at someone else, despite appearances. It just seemed rude to stare.

Lee kept his eyes avert and swallowed down some fear rising in his gut for his lost friend. "Then... then who are you?"

Had this kid really not known? Well it was possible that completely by accident Kisame had hit on her exact personality, if really unlikely. Or maybe the kid really was that dense and trusting. Whichever was the case, Kisame was prepared for an attack, and surprised when it didn’t come and also came with an averted gaze.

Definitely too trusting, though he’d reserve judgement on intelligence.

“Hoshigaki Kisame of Kirigakure.” There was no reason to gloss over the very real threat. “I’m assuming that your teammate is in my body right now, which means we should get to a travel seal immediately. You were kind and trusting enough not to attack me, but my current teammate probably won’t be.”

Sephiroth attacking his body was the least of Kisame’s concerns. If Sephiroth decided to inform Shishito-san of this, much, much worse was in store for this Tenten. Kisame’s body would come out of it intact, but Tenten’s mind? He doubted the same.

Lee felt he had the right to be trusting, considering Tenten's body had never really left his sight. She had not screamed for help or out of anger, nor had she reacted differently other than the explosion of weaponry seals. The only thing was perhaps that she had been more quiet and guarded but they had been on a mission, after all...

Kirigakure. Lee had an acquaintance or two from there but he didn't feel confident that this stranger was someone he could trust on merit. It may have been a strategic switch just as much as a random one. Or the person could be lying about themselves altogether. Aliases were not uncommon among shinobi.

Taking everything the man said with a grain of salt, Lee remained on the defensive. "How am I to know you are not just trying to steal Tenten's body away for experimentation now that her mind it gone?"

He was worried about Tenten's actual self in another's body, but she was capable.

This was several different kinds of a headache, but there wasn't much he could do about it. Kisame shrugged, and pulled the kunoichi's clothes back on. Sensible for fighting, at least, though some of the best wore the strangest clothes.

"Neither of us can prove either side of that argument easily, if at all. But that doesn't mean I'm going to stop my attempts to mitigate the disasters that could result from this. I'm going to the travel seal; you can follow or not. I don't particularly care either way."

It was a bit short, and less polite, than Kisame's norm, but now wasn't the time to play the game of half-truths and deflecting answers. The truth was what it was.

"I...," Lee sputtered, not sure what to do in this situation. Follow him? Into potentially dangerous territory? Alone? But he had Tenten's body! He couldn't just leave her like that but...

"I have faith that Tenten will be able to handle herself," Lee said stoutly, and knew in his heart of hearts it was true. He would worry, but she was resourceful. She was a part of Team Gai, too, and they had uncanny luck.

For now, Lee had to get back to the village and report the incident so they could be on the look-out for their body-swapped friend. But before he left, he gave Kisame a strong stare. "... I would appreciate it if you would be kind to my friend should you find her. She is very strong and capable, as I said, but she is a lady all the same. I am not certain she will be happy being in a man's body or knowing a man is in hers."

"I won't stop you, if that's what you want to do. Tell Hokage-sama my name and security clearance fathom."

Kisame shrugged, feeling the size difference clearly. It was nothing he could do, and he was sure Konoha's intelligence department had an idea of what a security clearance like that meant for Kisame and for the kunoichi in his body if Kiri caught her in it.

"If that doesn't convince them of the urgency, tell them to ask Morino Ibiki how he met me when I was young."

Kisame turned and started in the direction he thought was probably the travel seal, though he didn't know the area and could be wrong. It would take time if he was wrong, but if the Konoha-nin didn't want to assist, it would take time and frustration to argue the point.

Lee almost left at that, but he hesitated, turning back to the man in Tenten's body.

He cleared his throat, then glanced around as if he expected someone might be listening in. There was no one, of course, but Lee felt a little guilty all the same. "Well... I feel I can trust you enough to know you had no desire for this outcome, so I will not hesitate to do as you say. And, to be honest, this is not the first time such a thing has happened. The last incident I was made aware of was only a few days ago."

Even if Lee could not put all his faith in this man due to loyalty reasons he still felt he owed him that little tidbit. In this instance they were certainly allies so they needed to share what information they did have on the matter.

Now that was interesting information. Kisame doubted the kid knew much more but any scrap of information was important.

"That's enlightening and worrying. Do you know anything else about it?"

He was willing to wait for a few moments to find out, or better yet, they both needed the travel seal, didn't they? It wouldn't hurt to ask, and would get him to the travel seal quicker, if so.

"You're heading back to Konoha right away? Why don't we walk together and share what we know."

"Only very little," Lee admitted, rubbing his arm. "It seems the ones forcing these switches are not against switching shinobi with those in the same village, either. And it seems age and experience have little to no baring on whom switches with whom."

He hesitated a moment more, then nodded, starting them on their way. He really, really hoped he could trust this shonibi would not be leading him into dropping his guard for unsavory reasons. He already felt vulnerable knowing his teammate what who knew where.

"You have not seen anything like this yet in your village, Kisame-san?"

Kisame sighed. It wasn't the most useful information, but if these attackers were any good at what they did, he couldn't expect a wealth of information being already available. He'd just have to move forward and find out what he could on the way.

"I've been away on a mission for over a week. My mission partner and I haven't seen or been informed of any of this happening."

It wasn't to say that it hadn't, because Kisame could easily not be considered safe to inform out on the field as he was. For good reason, it seemed.

"I'll take a closer look at the seal when I get a chance. The seals may give us a clue to the identity of our attackers, once we get a chance to go over them in detail."

"That is unfortunate..." Lee trailed off, his mind wandering. Would Kisame's partner treat Tenten alright until Kisame was able to find them and explain things? Lee hoped so, though he did trust Tenten would have things under control. She was resourceful.

Back on track, Lee sighed. "I really need to return to the village after this. If on your way you happen to hear anything, anything new at all, please contact me via the scroll network. I will do the same for you with any extra information I come across."

"I cannot promise freedom to relay information like that, but if I can, I will. What is your scroll symbol?"

Kisame wasn't going to promise something he couldn't, and he wasn't foolish enough to think his information wouldn't be passed on to Konoha's intelligence, but it was a reasonable compromise, especially if it earned more information on the problem.

"Understandable. It's..." Lee produced a small pad of paper from his breast pocket usually reserved for notes of wisdom from his sensei, but this moment called for a different usage. He ripped half a page from it a jotted down his scroll calling symbol, passing it over as well as the pad and pen. "Please, do give me yours as well, Kisame-san. If I hear more I will let you know."

A moment passed, then Lee chuckled sheepishly. "Though, I suppose if you have not yet switched with Tenten then she will just get the information. I will be sure to send her a copy then, as well, so if you are still stuck this way you will at least have her scroll to check."

He supposed he was rambling at this point, but Lee was eager to make an ally of this shinobi. If they could work something out then with both their villages pushing to find out the story behind everything then they had just that much more of a chance of bringing the mastermind out into the open.

Kisame takes the symbol and then responds by putting his own symbol down as well.

"This is mine. Here's to solving this quickly and catching the culprits!"

There's nothing else to say, so Kisame moves toward the travel seal, going over ways to explain the departure from the expected destination in his head.

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Dude, where's my sword... I mean body.

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not sorry

early evening

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lmao!

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