sunshineverse | You say if you could fly

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You say if you could fly

Who: Neji and Gai
When: August 11th
Where: Training field 5
Notes: An unexpected engagement throws chaos into more lives than one.

Neji kept a firm leash on his temper hours after the meeting. He parted ways with Hinata, unable to say a word despite giving thought to a few attempts, and retreated to his apartment. He breathed, attempted to cool the internal fire sparking through his veins and boiling into a restrained anger he knew better than to unleash. Fingers curled into tight fists, then laxed again. Don't think about it, acknowledge the feelings then let them go. Concentrate.

He was almost fine.

Almost, because while he was great with emotional control when there were more important things to focus on, this time there was nothing to distract him. No overriding mission objective to set his sights on and use to bury personal feeling with. He was left at ends, stalking in a half-circle through his small living room, teeth grinding together and trying to focus.

For the first time, he seriously considered getting drunk- to seek out the supposed cure-all for shinobi woes. But that was as likely to backfire as it was to help, and he was already teetering on unsteady ground. Frustration mounted as his options dwindled, and he decided he just needed to get out. Get out and work through this before he did something supremely stupid.

On impulse, Neji tore out a shred of parchment and pressed ink into words with a harder grip than usual. He forced a measure of courtesy he didn't feel into the short writing simply because his mentor didn't deserve blatant disrespect.

Gai-sensei,

If you find yourself with time, I'd appreciate your assistance with a matter. Training field 5. Should you find this late, please join me at the Red Lantern.

-N.

No details, but he didn't have the patience for writing out an explanation. The mention of the shinobi bar would have to suffice as a glimpse into his mental state, with the field serving as the context. He sent it off and translocated to the field in question.

The first training post fell victim to a large burst of chakra that flayed layers of wood like bark from a tree. Wood splintered and flew with the force of a miniature explosion, splitting cloth and skin with a scattering of shallow lacerations. A little more than he'd asked for, and a brief wave of exhaustion left him crouching at the base.

Through the Byakugan, he could see where his chakra had cracked the solid core, and smiled grim satisfaction. If he'd ever used the same force on a living being, the pure concentration of chakra would've burst every internal organ in rapid succession, any excess blowing back through tenketsu and bleeding the deceased out from the inside.

With a swift kick, he smashed the remains of the post in half.

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The weight of the ink on the paper was Gai's first clue that something was off for his student. Nej'is writing usually flowed with a certain effortlessness, like his movements, and Gai could see the way the brush was pressed into the parchment, leaving broad, heavy ink lines in its wake.

He considered speaking to Obito first. Maybe it had to do with ANBU matters and Obito might be willing to disclose information that Neji, with his severe sense of responsibility, would not risk telling a nonANBU. But to got to Obito first would be to go behind Neji's back. Even if it was for a good cause, Gai would save that betrayal of trust, and the cashing in of any favors with the Hokage, for a time he better needed it. Now, he could speak to Neji directly and firstly.

The brutal disposal of the training post was his other clue.

"Neji! You required my assistance with something?". He offered a smile.

White eyes took in Gai's chakra signature with more relief than he expected. He straightened and glanced over his handiwork. Splinters were everywhere along with a fallen branch he didn't remember cutting down.

His bloodline faded and he nodded to his mentor, the man cheerful despite evidence of his own foul mood. But the edge of his anger had worn for now, and Neji finally felt he could speak without spitting venom.

"I apologize for calling on you so suddenly sensei, but a recent meeting with the clan elders turned.. distressing. I was hoping you'd be willing to spar with me."

Edited 2014-08-24 04:21 (UTC)

Gai's eyes studied Neji carefully. Distressing. That was an awfully telling term; he didn't think his student would admit to something being 'distressing' unless it was a twenty on a scale of ten.

"Of course! And I never mind short-notice if it is important to my student!" Obviously Neji was very troubled by whatever the clan elders had to say, and Gai was probably not going to like it either. Sometimes he wished Neji could do as Obito had done, once, and distance himself from his clan and their plans for him. But Neji's position was unique and the chances of that happening, at least in the current climate of the Hyuuga clan, were probably slim.

"I am open to whatever it is you need to do." He put a steady hand on Neji's shoulder and gave a firm and supportive squeeze. "Let us spar!"

Neji's mouth thinned into a grim line, the set of his jaw clearly stating that he wasn't open to questions about it quite yet. He wondered how much of his distress bled through despite his attempt at regaining composure, where 'distress' was a mild substitute for 'utterly outraged'.

But he gave a short nod and the barest quirk of his lips in a show of brief gratitude for Gai's consideration and wordless support. The Hyuuga flipped back, white eyes narrowing sharply with his bloodline, hands raised and ready to fly.

Gai understood the need to spar to vent. But he also understood that anger would make Neji potentially more dangerous, both to himself and to Gai, so Gai would have to be extra cautious to not press his student too hard or let the degree of combat rise too far out of hand. He had already been irresponsible enough to land Hinata in the hospital; he would not fail Neji too.

He stepped back, readying for the flurry of hands he knew his student would attack with. Gai's own fists and forearms flew to block Neji's attacks and he spun to kick low, aiming to destabilize the Hyuuga's all-important foundation.

His hands met solid resistance, as he expected them to, warded off with familiarity borne from years of practice. Neji knew his best chances lay in luring Gai into a false sense of security then switching it up, but nothing about this spar was about cleverness, talent, or proving a goddamn thing.

Nevertheless, he watched Gai's body sweep down and vaulted over the outstretched leg with a swift roll. Came up and lashed out at a new angle, irritation bleeding through sharper movements that sacrificed the grace of Hyuuga's flowing movements for speed and an edge of strength.

Because none of it mattered. He'd always known that no matter how talented he was, how flawlessly he could execute even Jyuuken's most advanced techniques, it didn't change anything. There was nothing he could say, nothing he could do, and no one ever considered asking. Not when they could just compel obedience with an effortless gesture.

Under different circumstances, and back when they were still student and sensei, Gai would have scolded Neji for the way he let the irritation show in his movements. Irritation was something that could be used against you, it could easily devolve into sloppiness. But this wasn't a lesson and now was not the time.

Gai matched Neji's speed and pacing, letting his footwork carry him around his student, forcing Neji to turn to meet the attack whenever possible and trying to block any of the Hyuuga's attacks that might stray near any key chakra points. Even if Neji wasn't fighting that way today, that was how one should always fight a Hyuuga.

Had this spar been about teaching or technique, he would have tried to challenge the new skills he knew Neji had been training and practicing, perhaps allowed him a weapon or two and forced Neji to combat the nun-chucks. Next time. For now, he just pushed Neji enough to allow him to vent his frustration through exertion and challenged him enough to not insult him (which was not hard; Neji had long been a match for Gai on the battlefield).

Neji followed every change in direction with an effortlessness borne from walking in circles. Even incensed, his body still remembered the very foundation his style was built from, and shifted on a moment's notice. He knew better than to use chakra, wasn't out to injure Gai even accidentally, just work through his own frustrations.

It was certainly working, because with every step, every hit he he threw, blocked, countered or vice versa, the anger rose higher in his chest and he drove them harder. He was breaking and he did nothing to stop it, trusted Gai to be able to handle it when he did.

Caught in a sudden standstill, he breathed and growled his frustration before abruptly separating. But it didn't last, and he threw himself back into the fray with a vengeance that had nothing to do with Gai.

"Why do I never have.. a choice!?" Why couldn't they just ask him like a normal person? Given him an option to politely refuse without severe consequences? What was freedom if it took chains to get there?

The question broke Gai's heart. That was Neji's struggle forever, as long as clan politics continued the way it was. Even with a member of a prominent clan as Hokage, nothing could yet be done about the complicated and often unnecessary strife that internal affairs of the clans caused its own people.

Gai wanted to promise his students their dreams. But he couldn't promise Neji the one thing he most needed: choice, freedom, the right to be himself. Gai deflected hit after hit, missing a few and being grazed by others. Neji was breaking right before his eyes. He felt so powerless. He didn't even know how to reply to Neji's question. All he could do was continue the match and try to find out what happened. Perhaps he could offer consolation, if nothing better.

"Do not let this defeat you, Neji. You are stronger than that." What had the clan done to Neji now, now when he was at the cusp of his own sort of tentative freedom? Being ANBU would have given Neji more room--what had they done to obviously tighten their hold on him? Gai had the horrible fear that Neji's only true freedom would be death; he wanted better for his precious student. Maybe their combined anger would be passion enough to drive them to find a solution.

"Tell me what they have done." Tell me what they have done this time.

Neji didn't expect an answer, knew there was nothing anyone outside the clan could do. He was so intimately familiar with that concept that it didn't even bother him. No one could come in and resolve Hyuuga's internal politics, he just had to mind himself and not piss anyone off too much. Easy enough to do until they provoke him.

He did expect the question, though it didn't quite come in the form of one, and he didn't answer. Not until another flurry of blows had passed and he'd taken the time to grasp onto the line his mentor had thrown. No, he wouldn't let this defeat him, but it would be so very easy to just give up. His own father had given up long ago, and he could never even blame him for it. Hizashi still defended him, still tried, but he'd given up on himself. Those chains were molded to skin, and the most he could do was try to loosen his son's. But the time was rapidly approaching where his father wouldn't even be able to do that anymore.

"I'm engaged!" he snapped at last, lashing out with a hard fist wildly in contrast with his usual style. He spat the rest, too enraged to manage more of an explanation. "December. Hinata-sama."

And that was it. That was the rest of his life and the rest of hers. Wrapped up and decided before they're even officially adults.

But she is like your half-sister?! Gai was certain the thought showed on his face. There was nothing wrong with Hinata. She was a wonderful girl. But the clan had no right!

He was so shocked he nearly missed the fist aimed at him, grabbing Neji's wrist at the last minute to stop his momentum. For a second, Gai almost, impulsively, went to pull him into a hug Gai was mostly certain his student didn't want, but probably needed. Hugs always made Gai feel better, even when the world was cruel and unfair. He stopped himself, though, and released Neji's wrist. Neji had enough choices taken away from him by adults; he certainly didn't need that of Gai right now.

It took everything in Gai to not make declarations. He sometimes wondered how his father could be so strong and supportive and so wise; he wished to be that for his ~~children~~ students.

"That is unfair to you both." Although it wasn't loud, it was still a passionate statement, Gai's jaw and fist clenched with anger at things he couldn't see a way to Hard Work fix. "Neji, if there is anything I can do to help you, anything, I will. You are always welcome to my apartment or, if you are free, to come with me on missions. Whatever kind of escape I can offer you until we find a solution for this."

He put a hand on Neji's shoulder again and added, "I would like to offer you a hug, but prefer to give you the choice on whether or not to accept it."

Neji breathed, body heaving while he watched the shock run through Gai. He retrieved his wrist, fingers flexing as they disengaged. The sudden information had drawn a halt in their spar, and he attempted to quell his own irritation. To steady his breathing and come down from his outburst, settle back into himself again.

He brushed away sweaty hair with an impatient hand and frowned. It was unfair certainly, but the entire clan was unfair. There was a small chance that upon marriage his seal would be removed, but he wouldn't hold his breath. No one had ever heard of a seal being removed before, and while its activation could be forbidden, there was no way to enforce such a rule. No, even marrying Hinata wouldn't bring him freedom.

He could appreciate Gai's sincere offer at least and nodded. Perhaps if his odd relationship with Temari had been more serious before this.. But that was wishful thinking and a fair bit of assumption.

"Hinata-sama was upset as well," he supplied eventually. "I can only hope she objects, because if she doesn't, there's nothing.." Neji paused, jaw clenching. "Well, my objections would insult the Head family."

As for Gai's offer to hug him, Neji could only offer a funny half-shrug because he wasn't sure how to feel about it. Part of him knew he could use it, while the other balked at the idea of being treated like a child.

"And if she objects?" Gai wanted more information. Normally, he was a doer not a thinker, but in this case he needed to know as much as he could because knowing might give him something to do. Knowledge wasn't always power, but sometimes it was the only power one could have. He wondered if Obito might talk to Hinata, if somehow their combined status could swing this the other way. "Can Hinata's objection break off the engagement cleanly?"

He resolved to give Neji a firm squeeze around the shoulders. It wasn't a full hug, not what Gai wanted to give him, but that half-shrug wasn't agreement either. Compromise, then. A draw, a compromise, sometimes felt like a loss, and Gai knew that well. But with this whole marriage ordeal, perhaps it would be the only win Neji could have.

"...No," he admitted after a moment, shoulders slumping under Gai's support. "It's Hiashi-sama's decision in the end, but he can't force her to agree." And in some ways that was worse, because he knew how his clan worked.

"They'll pressure her. Ply her with niceties, then shake her self-confidence until they realize all they have to do is threaten me. At the most, this will give us time and grant me a small measure of breathing room. I don't have to pretend to be interested if she isn't."

Edited 2014-08-28 02:10 (UTC)

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You say if you could fly

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this is me not having an appropriate icon and being way too lazy to go make one atm

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