You say if you could fly

[heavenly_earth]

Who: Neji and Gai
When: August 11th
Where: Training field 5
Notes: An unexpected engagement throws chaos into more lives than one.


Neji kept a firm leash on his temper hours after the meeting. He parted ways with Hinata, unable to say a word despite giving thought to a few attempts, and retreated to his apartment. He breathed, attempted to cool the internal fire sparking through his veins and boiling into a restrained anger he knew better than to unleash. Fingers curled into tight fists, then laxed again. Don't think about it, acknowledge the feelings then let them go. Concentrate.

He was almost fine.

Almost, because while he was great with emotional control when there were more important things to focus on, this time there was nothing to distract him. No overriding mission objective to set his sights on and use to bury personal feeling with. He was left at ends, stalking in a half-circle through his small living room, teeth grinding together and trying to focus.

For the first time, he seriously considered getting drunk- to seek out the supposed cure-all for shinobi woes. But that was as likely to backfire as it was to help, and he was already teetering on unsteady ground. Frustration mounted as his options dwindled, and he decided he just needed to get out. Get out and work through this before he did something supremely stupid.

On impulse, Neji tore out a shred of parchment and pressed ink into words with a harder grip than usual. He forced a measure of courtesy he didn't feel into the short writing simply because his mentor didn't deserve blatant disrespect.


Gai-sensei,

If you find yourself with time, I'd appreciate your assistance with a matter. Training field 5. Should you find this late, please join me at the Red Lantern.

-N.

No details, but he didn't have the patience for writing out an explanation. The mention of the shinobi bar would have to suffice as a glimpse into his mental state, with the field serving as the context. He sent it off and translocated to the field in question.

The first training post fell victim to a large burst of chakra that flayed layers of wood like bark from a tree. Wood splintered and flew with the force of a miniature explosion, splitting cloth and skin with a scattering of shallow lacerations. A little more than he'd asked for, and a brief wave of exhaustion left him crouching at the base.

Through the Byakugan, he could see where his chakra had cracked the solid core, and smiled grim satisfaction. If he'd ever used the same force on a living being, the pure concentration of chakra would've burst every internal organ in rapid succession, any excess blowing back through tenketsu and bleeding the deceased out from the inside.

With a swift kick, he smashed the remains of the post in half.

Comments

[heavenly_earth]

Neji followed every change in direction with an effortlessness borne from walking in circles. Even incensed, his body still remembered the very foundation his style was built from, and shifted on a moment's notice. He knew better than to use chakra, wasn't out to injure Gai even accidentally, just work through his own frustrations.

It was certainly working, because with every step, every hit he he threw, blocked, countered or vice versa, the anger rose higher in his chest and he drove them harder. He was breaking and he did nothing to stop it, trusted Gai to be able to handle it when he did.

Caught in a sudden standstill, he breathed and growled his frustration before abruptly separating. But it didn't last, and he threw himself back into the fray with a vengeance that had nothing to do with Gai.

"Why do I never have.. a choice!?" Why couldn't they just ask him like a normal person? Given him an option to politely refuse without severe consequences? What was freedom if it took chains to get there?

[morningpeacock]

The question broke Gai's heart. That was Neji's struggle forever, as long as clan politics continued the way it was. Even with a member of a prominent clan as Hokage, nothing could yet be done about the complicated and often unnecessary strife that internal affairs of the clans caused its own people.

Gai wanted to promise his students their dreams. But he couldn't promise Neji the one thing he most needed: choice, freedom, the right to be himself. Gai deflected hit after hit, missing a few and being grazed by others. Neji was breaking right before his eyes. He felt so powerless. He didn't even know how to reply to Neji's question. All he could do was continue the match and try to find out what happened. Perhaps he could offer consolation, if nothing better.

"Do not let this defeat you, Neji. You are stronger than that." What had the clan done to Neji now, now when he was at the cusp of his own sort of tentative freedom? Being ANBU would have given Neji more room--what had they done to obviously tighten their hold on him? Gai had the horrible fear that Neji's only true freedom would be death; he wanted better for his precious student. Maybe their combined anger would be passion enough to drive them to find a solution.

"Tell me what they have done." Tell me what they have done this time.

[heavenly_earth]

Neji didn't expect an answer, knew there was nothing anyone outside the clan could do. He was so intimately familiar with that concept that it didn't even bother him. No one could come in and resolve Hyuuga's internal politics, he just had to mind himself and not piss anyone off too much. Easy enough to do until they provoke him.

He did expect the question, though it didn't quite come in the form of one, and he didn't answer. Not until another flurry of blows had passed and he'd taken the time to grasp onto the line his mentor had thrown. No, he wouldn't let this defeat him, but it would be so very easy to just give up. His own father had given up long ago, and he could never even blame him for it. Hizashi still defended him, still tried, but he'd given up on himself. Those chains were molded to skin, and the most he could do was try to loosen his son's. But the time was rapidly approaching where his father wouldn't even be able to do that anymore.

"I'm engaged!" he snapped at last, lashing out with a hard fist wildly in contrast with his usual style. He spat the rest, too enraged to manage more of an explanation. "December. Hinata-sama."

And that was it. That was the rest of his life and the rest of hers. Wrapped up and decided before they're even officially adults.

this is me not having an appropriate icon and being way too lazy to go make one atm

[morningpeacock]

But she is like your half-sister?! Gai was certain the thought showed on his face. There was nothing wrong with Hinata. She was a wonderful girl. But the clan had no right!

He was so shocked he nearly missed the fist aimed at him, grabbing Neji's wrist at the last minute to stop his momentum. For a second, Gai almost, impulsively, went to pull him into a hug Gai was mostly certain his student didn't want, but probably needed. Hugs always made Gai feel better, even when the world was cruel and unfair. He stopped himself, though, and released Neji's wrist. Neji had enough choices taken away from him by adults; he certainly didn't need that of Gai right now.

It took everything in Gai to not make declarations. He sometimes wondered how his father could be so strong and supportive and so wise; he wished to be that for his children students.

"That is unfair to you both." Although it wasn't loud, it was still a passionate statement, Gai's jaw and fist clenched with anger at things he couldn't see a way to Hard Work fix. "Neji, if there is anything I can do to help you, anything, I will. You are always welcome to my apartment or, if you are free, to come with me on missions. Whatever kind of escape I can offer you until we find a solution for this."

He put a hand on Neji's shoulder again and added, "I would like to offer you a hug, but prefer to give you the choice on whether or not to accept it."

[heavenly_earth]

Neji breathed, body heaving while he watched the shock run through Gai. He retrieved his wrist, fingers flexing as they disengaged. The sudden information had drawn a halt in their spar, and he attempted to quell his own irritation. To steady his breathing and come down from his outburst, settle back into himself again.

He brushed away sweaty hair with an impatient hand and frowned. It was unfair certainly, but the entire clan was unfair. There was a small chance that upon marriage his seal would be removed, but he wouldn't hold his breath. No one had ever heard of a seal being removed before, and while its activation could be forbidden, there was no way to enforce such a rule. No, even marrying Hinata wouldn't bring him freedom.

He could appreciate Gai's sincere offer at least and nodded. Perhaps if his odd relationship with Temari had been more serious before this.. But that was wishful thinking and a fair bit of assumption.

"Hinata-sama was upset as well," he supplied eventually. "I can only hope she objects, because if she doesn't, there's nothing.." Neji paused, jaw clenching. "Well, my objections would insult the Head family."

As for Gai's offer to hug him, Neji could only offer a funny half-shrug because he wasn't sure how to feel about it. Part of him knew he could use it, while the other balked at the idea of being treated like a child.

[morningpeacock]

"And if she objects?" Gai wanted more information. Normally, he was a doer not a thinker, but in this case he needed to know as much as he could because knowing might give him something to do. Knowledge wasn't always power, but sometimes it was the only power one could have. He wondered if Obito might talk to Hinata, if somehow their combined status could swing this the other way. "Can Hinata's objection break off the engagement cleanly?"

He resolved to give Neji a firm squeeze around the shoulders. It wasn't a full hug, not what Gai wanted to give him, but that half-shrug wasn't agreement either. Compromise, then. A draw, a compromise, sometimes felt like a loss, and Gai knew that well. But with this whole marriage ordeal, perhaps it would be the only win Neji could have.

[heavenly_earth]

"...No," he admitted after a moment, shoulders slumping under Gai's support. "It's Hiashi-sama's decision in the end, but he can't force her to agree." And in some ways that was worse, because he knew how his clan worked.

"They'll pressure her. Ply her with niceties, then shake her self-confidence until they realize all they have to do is threaten me. At the most, this will give us time and grant me a small measure of breathing room. I don't have to pretend to be interested if she isn't."