sunshineverse | Even a Kage spends time in the village

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Even a Kage spends time in the village

Where: Konohagakure
When: January 4th, in the afternoon.
Notes: Open to anyone.

He was horrifically bored. No, beyond bored, he was being lulled into a sense of being droned to death, and he honestly couldn't claim he was unused to it. He was used to it. He was so painfully used to it that he could just cry over it. Admittedly, he'd gotten over that crying constantly thing a good decade ago, but the urge still cropped up from time to time, and this was shaping up to being one of those days.

At least, it was until someone called the delegate's attention away from him long enough that one of his people could get in and give him a message.

It was blank, but they didn't have to know that, and it was something that honestly didn't need his personal attention in any case. All he seemed to be there for was to nod politely and have his assistant take notes to give someone else anyway. Thus, he sprung at the chance to close the matter for the day, it having run over nearly two hours from the projected halt point as it was.

His shinobi had probably realized he wasn't all that far off a compulsion to do something regrettable. Probably in a way that was amusing at the time but would just make him cringe in retrospect too. Thus, he seized on the chance to bolt, politely making his excuses before taking off into the village, taking a deep breath of the cool air as he tried to figure out how he wanted to spend his current freedom.

Sparring? Checking on shinobi in other parts of the village? Hassling his students? Lunch?

...Lunch. He was starved.

Goal decided, he started across the village to the nice fish place near his home, waving and greeting people on his way.

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"Why does the idea of being home for a little while upset you so much then?" He frowned a touch, leaning forward to examine him more carefully. "Why wouldn't you want a chance to calm your nerves before returning to your duties Itachi? You're not on anything with a deep enough cover right now to need those reflexes."

Deeper and deeper into the lie they must go. Itachi scrambled silently for some truth, pursing his lips and looking at the tale as he listened to the noises around them, pin pointing random noises he recognized and allowing Obito to see him think.

"Because I am a tool." Itachi looked back up at Obito. This was the truth, but revealed with such deceitful intent it might as well be a lie. "I am a tool to be used, and everything I've ever learned in my life has taught me I must be useful or I am useless." The best. The brightest. The superlative of everything.

"And there is nothing a tool fears more than being placed on the shelf and forgotten about or being cast aside for something better." Honestly, what would Itachi have to do after he was no longer able to carry out his duties? How would he fill his time? What would be endlessly drill himself into perfecting?

Edited 2014-01-28 00:16 (UTC)

How long had Itachi known him? All his life. As such, he had not believed that Itachi would use such terminology at him, when he knew he had... opinions about it. Or had he wired himself so tightly that he'd convinced himself that this was fine, that this was how it should be? Obito's face was stony, and he stared back at Itachi with the sort of unwavering intensity that he rarely preferred to display around home.

"Is that what you believe then Itachi."

There were very few times Itachi had actually felt intimidated by his cousin.

This was one of those times. Itachi hesitated, feeling a little trapped and cursing his choice of words. Still, he'd started down this road, and now he couldn't turn back. This might be worse than letting Obito know he had health problems.

Itachi looked at his scarred hands, resting in his lap. "There is a part of me that will always believe that. I will always assign worth to myself by how useful I am to my village and my clan.

"I know that's not how you view any of us. I know there are people who care about me and will always care about me no matter what I do, but. . ." Ashes and death Obito was going to make him take leave for his mental health next. Itachi really wished someone would interrupt or someone would attack him.

Itachi breathed out. "Is it such a bad thing that I want to be useful?" Maybe if he made Obito answer his questions, things would go a little smoother.

"No Itachi, it's not a bad thing to wish to be useful." He didn't look away, but his demeanor softened, just a touch, just enough that enough he was still clearly not going to let it go, he did have some sympathy.

He'd been a position once where he'd felt useless after all, and had no desire to visit it upon others. However...

This would not do.

"Look me in the eye Itachi." It was gently said, not as a demand, though it wasn't a request either. "Look me in the eye and tell me exactly what you're doing that cannot wait for you to return to it later."

The last thing Itachi wanted to do was look in Obito's eyes. He only did it because it was an order and he wanted Obito to drop the tpoic. If he went along with it, maybe Obito would just let it go.

Itachi felt like he was five as he met Obito's gaze. Itachi could think of a dozen things he itched to get back to, but he curled his hands into fists.

"Nothing." Itachi swallowed. "I have no current assignments that will suffer if I do not return to them immediately." Itachi suddenly dreaded Obito finding out that Itachi had been purposefully keeping his health issues hidden. He held Obito's gaze, but only barely.

He held that gaze, aware of the tension in Itachi's body, the way he was practicing his forced stillness in front of him to comply with his request. He didn't let him drop his eyes again, instead leaning forward, just a touch, as he held steady. "And what is it in Konoha you're avoiding then?"

Itachi had not expected that. He couldn't his the widening of his eyes, and he was immediately struck by the realization if this were a mission, he could have just gotten himself killed with that reaction. That realization on top of Obito's question, spearing to the heart of what Itachi had been trying to hide, Itachi's cheeks pinked. He wanted to laugh. He wanted to hide his face, because this was all so ridiculous. Only someone as close to him as Obito could have elicited the surprised response, really. Itachi was just so used to dealing with people under the shield of some persona and having people not care, he'd evidently forgotten how to manipulate or read people who knew him well.

Itachi looked away. Lies raced through his head, most convincing, some not. Obito had to know he'd cornered Itachi, and Itachi could be utterly obstinate and refuse to tell Obito what was actually going on. He could blame his family. He could make up something about Shisui or Sasuke or anyone. He could do it in a moment, because he'd been born, bred, and taught to lie. He still didn't think Obito would believe him.

Itachi considered for a moment just running and avoiding Obito for months, but Obito could actually order ANBU to come and get him. Itachi started to raise his hand to bite him thumbnail (the reason he wore nail polish), and forcibly placed his hands back in his lap. He had no idea how long his thoughts had been chasing him around. He didn't look at Obito.

"It's not something in Konoha." Was it? Technically he was avoiding something inside of himself. Or was he really avoiding giving those who cared about him the knowledge of that, which would mean he was avoiding something in Konoha? No, because he would resist taking long missions with Sasuke or Shisui. It wasn't something in Konoha he was avoiding.

"But it is something." He watched him, the slightly defeated slant of his body. He knew he still hadn't found out the root of... this. All of this had a cause that he was somehow not aware of, and that bothered him. When had he drifted so far that one of his favorite relatives, the brother of his own student had started to be overlooked enough that something clearly so large could consume the younger man?

He knew he'd been busy, but clearly he needed to re-evaluate what he spent time on, and make the rounds with fresh eyes as to exactly what his people were doing with their lives, and just how well they were handling their missions.

"It's something that has to be personal if it's not out there, and it's not back here."

Itachi watched Obito, biting the tip on his tongue to settle the urge to gnaw on his fingernails. Itachi took a breath. "It's not something that will effect my missions." Not yet. "As Hokage, that should be your concern. I'll perform as needed when needed."

That would never be enough for Obito. "As my cousin..." Itachi paused. He did not want to tell Obito. Having Shisui know was bad enough. There would be questions and measuring looks. Itachi was old at heart. He hated change. "It's a little personal." Itachi hoped his tone was dry instead of shameful that he was still trying to hide things from Obito.

"But you avoid your brother. You avoid me when I'm not giving you missions." He leaned on the table, focused and attentive. "If I hadn't called you down you wouldn't have spoken to me at all today, right? You do that a lot you know. I notice. Sasuke asks after you."

He shook his head slowly, then caught his eyes. "Whatever it is may be personal, but if you're avoiding resting, avoiding taking leave of outside missions while you recover because of it? I need to know. So both as your cousin and your Hokage... this isn't something you should be hiding from me. If it would not risk your stability, I might, might have been willing to let it go. But, I can't... can I?"

Ah. Guilt. Itachi was a horrible human being. Good ninja, awful brother, cousin, or friend. Itachi barely kept the sardonic grin from his face as he listened to Obito. He felt backed into a corner. He had made this corner. He had placed himself here by refusing to admit weakness to anyone.

Itachi looked at Obito. He gave up trying to hide anything, and he probably looked tired. Old. Frustrated and defensive as he realized he had no way out. Itachi leaned his elbows on the table, curling his hands into each other as if to hide them. "Shisui knows. You know he'll make me take care of myself. I know my limits. I know what I can do and what I can't." Which was why his body's inability to preform exactly as he knew it should startled him so. He knew the little signs he saw were minuscule and only hints of what was to come, but because he was so attuned to his body, they disturbed him.

"Could you accept that this is something I need to keep to myself?" Because he wasn't ready to admit anything to anyone. He'd never admitted it to Shisui. Shisui had just watched the signs and known. That was when Itachi had gotten paranoid about other people finding out.

"If you talk to me, I see no reason why I should tell anyone else Itachi." His tone was very gentle then, and his expression softened as he watched him. "I won't ask around to others, but I need to know from you. Need, not want. If you can't speak to me, and you won't, or can't, take care of it on your own, known limitations or not, then I have to act in interests I do not know the extent of. I do not want to take you from what makes you feel secure as a shinobi."

He met his gaze, held it with steady confidence. "Whatever is happening, you know you'll never have my pity, don't you?"

No, Obito might not pity him, but Itachi didn't think Obito could keep from caring enough to attempt to shelter Itachi. He would be concerned, and that would change things. Itachi did not want this. He did not want it with such a profound disgust and revulsion he realized he was frightened. He was twenty-one and his body was already showing signs of giving out. It threatened to take from him the only way of life he knew, reduce him into something that could no longer protect himself, let alone his family or village.

Itachi popped his knuckles on his left hand, then his right, feeling the subtle burn. The beginning of arthritis in his fingers was something he knew about and had talked to the medics about. It was what happened when one did signs as quickly as he did. The impact on the joints slowly added up over the fifteen years he'd been doing signs. Itachi wondered if his reluctance was making this all seem worse than it really was. He sighed and looked up at Obito.

He did not want to tell Obito any of it. He didn't want anyone else to know. "You know I was born with a heart defect?" It wasn't something the Uchiha talked much about, but Obito had probably been old enough to remember Itachi had been small and sickly child, and had, after the war, spent time in the hospital. He has a scar from the repairs still.

"I do. It's in your files." He paused a moment, tilting his head as his gaze sharpened, just a touch. "Your mother worried for a while that you wouldn't grow up healthy when you were very small too, especially when you showed yourself to not be a talker."

Then he quieted, waiting. He knew they wouldn't be interrupted until the seal was taken down, not even with their food. It was courtesy.

Itachi nodded. He'd actually grown up to be remarkable tall for someone with a congenital heart defect. Iatchi looked at his hands. "I'm not actually sure it's related to anything now. I hardly have a murmur and I know it effects my stamina, but I've learned to work around that." Itachi paused.

"I don't know that any of this is related, but it seems too coincidental." Itachi didn't believe in coincidences. He believed in patterns. "I've begun to...notice some things." Itachi made a hand motion and sat back. He was committed to telling Obito. Now he had to make it sound as trivial as possible.

"It's small things. I check more colds than I used to and it takes me longer to get over them, mostly. Travelling from area to area naturally means I run into a wider variety if illnesses and am more likely to catch things anyway." Itachi watched Obito carefully as he spoke.

Obito nodded once, then spread his hands. "And who is your personal medic?" The question was soft, to the point. He couldn't do it. Healing was really not his skill set, and if Itachi didn't have one, Itachi was going to get one, trivial, severe, it didn't matter. It was enough that it had started to freak his cousin out so much as his cousin freaked out.

"You have one, don't you?"

Itachi blinked. He'd been about to go on and mention the fatigue and joint aches, but...if Obito were going to move onto medics, and those were rather...subjective symptoms. He could be tired more often because he wasn't a teenager anymore. That seemed reasonable.

"The ANBU medics see me enough to know I get sick often." Itachi frowned. "It's colds, Obito. If it gets back then its bronchitis or pneumonia. Neither of which are usually fatal and I do carry antibiotics and other treatments for them wherever I go." He was careful.

"So no." He raised his eyebrows. "The question isn't 'do you get sick and take care of it' the question was 'who is taking care of your body'. The answer is nobody."

And just like that, the intensity seemed to vanish as Obito gave Itachi a sunny smile. "Okay, this is what is going to happen. You are going to get a medic. Pick someone who you are willing to see often because you'll be seeing them every time you return tot he village from now on, got it? If they're not available, let me know, and I'll tell you when they'll be back to see you."

He shifted in his seat, settling back as he seemed to relax. "You have two weeks to do this, and you will be staying in the village the entirety of those two weeks, regardless of how quickly you find your medic. You will let your medic look you over thoroughly and fix what they can." He raised his eyebrows. "Got it?"

There were not words to express Itachi's horror at this suggestion. He did not need a personal medic like some kind of infirmed old man. He did not need someone else poking and prodding at his body and contemplating how it was not preforming to standard or breaking down or whatever it was doing.

Itachi came as close as he ever had to refusing a direct order from the Hokage. What would Obito do if he simply refused to do as ordered? He'd probably just send a medic after Itachi, someone who wouldn't give up until they'd checked Itachi over thoroughly. How long would anything stay secret with his regular visits to a medic? Not long, not matter who he picked. Maybe if he chose and ANBU medic, things would stay better contained.

Itachi realized he was gnawing on his thumbnail when he tasted nail polish and quickly lowered his hand. "I understand." And he loathed the very idea, but he would do it.

He knew Itachi was upset at him, he knew he was, and he leaned over the table, the smile vanishing as quick as it came. "Itachi. Ask yourself this, would you? You're an excellent shinobi, you're strong, creative, and good at hiding things. You can find someone discreet and skilled enough to take care of you without others finding out. I know you have no interest in people that way, so maybe pretend you're dating them if you're worried your reputation might tarnish. But... would you rather do this, or force me to take you off the missions you do and put you on something where I can personally keep an eye on you and you run the risk of people finding out anyway?"

Itachi looked at Obito and leaned forward as well. "Obito-san, perhaps if I am all those things, you should trust that know that I have said I will do what you've ordered, that I will do it in the way I find most comfortable and discrete." And leave Itachi what little dignity hadn't been sloughed from his back with Obito's interrogation. Itachi was smart enough to know there were worse ways to get this done, but that didn't mean he was happy about any of this.

He studied his face, then nodded, seeming to relax. "You were determined to hide it or brush it off Itachi, that worries me." He shook his head once, dropping his own gaze to the table on a sigh.

"It's my job to watch over those who reside in this village, and I believed myself exceptionally aware of you. You've done well hiding yourself from me if it's not my own distraction that made this the case." He lifted his head, lips quirking faintly. "Isn't it understandable I'd want to at least try to help make it not seem so bad?"

Itachi breathed out and sat back. This was the problem with having a Hokage who was so invested in your well being. "As I said, they're only small things. Shisui only knows..." Itachi almost said because he'd watched Itachi try to get out of bed on cold mornings and heard the crackle and creaking of his joints, but Obito hasn't fettered that out yet. "Because he sees me straight after my assignments so often and he's always mothered me a little." Unlike Obito, Shisui also trusted Itachi a little more to take care of himself, but maybe Shisui was more forgiving because Itachi had told him.

"Is it understandable that I feel enough like a chastised child without being told to pretend to date my medic?" The words weren't biting, only wry. Itachi was quickly becoming resigned to his fate, though he still didn't like it.

"I wasn't telling you to, I was just... offering a suggestion. Mostly because you have been hiding it." He huffed a breath, then shook his head. "But fine, I apologize. Maybe it was a bit over the top." He planted his chin in his palm, and his elbow on the table. "We should probably let the staff actually feed us, at some point."

Even a Kage spends time in the village

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