I know you want to leave but..

[mokutonno]

 

Who: Obito Uchiha and Tenzou (Yamato)

When: BGS 5

Where: Konoha - Hokage Tower

What: Kakashi leaves ANBU. There’s fallout to deal with.

'I'll see you tomorrow, Tenzou.' Those had been the last words Kakashi had said to him. It was now a week later and word of his capt- his former captains disastrous mission had spread like wildfire around HQ. Much of it was rumour though and Tenzou needed facts, answers as to why Kakashi would just leave overnight without a goddamn word. He took a breath and another, calming the molten burn of hurt that bubbled up, everytime he thought too long or too hard and continued on down the hallway ahead. His search for answers had forced Tenzou to do the unthinkable; the abuse of his security clearance and a round of 3am breaking and entering, namely, gaining access to the classified ANBU records room. It had been distressingly easy and he was elbow deep in a stack of files within an hour of setting out.

Obito had been working late, his sensei having left early, a trend that had been increasingly common as he sensed the close of Minato's leadership on the horizon. He'd managed to finished up, just barely, not even a couple hours before and he grimaced. He needed to get on the personnel files and it was way too late to get any sleep now... So he decided to put the ones he'd been picking through away and headed down to the ANBU records to do just that... only to be bewildered why there was even anyone there at this hour. Using all his stealth, one of the skills he kept close to his chest for personal reasons, he crept up on the person after setting his arm load of files down... then frowned. "What are you looking for?"

He'd let his guard down, stomach roiling as he skimmed the mission parameters; mind automatically interpreting the scrawled slant of his senpai's handwriting and swallowing back bile the further he read into it. So it was no surprise that, at the sound of papers hitting the desk, Tenzou greeted the other late night visitor with a kunai drawn and the folder in his other hand, clutched to his chest. "..Obito?"

His gaze drifted to the folder, and his hands flexed before he moved closer. "Yeah. Why are you here?"

It took a moment for him to retract the blade, but it was tucked away before he answered. "Kakashi-senpai's gone..I needed answers." Obito had been the last person he'd expected, but there was no use in lying.

He was quiet for a moment, then, tense, and reached to take the files from his arms. "Don't- look at this okay? You clearly already have but... it won't help."

Tenzou stepped back out of Obito's reach, rarely seen fury, flashing across his features and he guarded the folder closer. "He- I cant--" He frowned and swallowed hard against the lump in his throat "Senpai couldn't trust me with this but, I have to know. I need to know what drove him away, Obito and I can't ask him."

He seemed to shut down a little, chin dipping the slightest bit on a touch of grief before he followed the movement, passing the folder by and putting his hand on his shoulder. "No, you can't. I can't talk to him about it either. I-" His voice cracked, and he cleared his throat, continuing on as steadily as he started. "Talk to me, okay?"

He flinched under the touch, but didn't pull away, in two minds about whether he wanted the comfort or not. "What's there to say?" It was a complete lie. Tenzou had plenty to say, to shout and scream and rail against, but the words crowded his throat, fighting to be first and reduced him to pained silence.

"There's a lot to say. Put that away. Come out to a private training area with me and we'll sort this." It was a murmur, and he held eye contact with him.

Tenzou shot Obito a betrayed look, finally breaking eye contact and grasping the file with both hands. "..Let me finish it. I know I shouldn't be here but..I want to read it in his words."

He pressed his lips together, then turned to put the files he'd come in with away. "You don't want to."

It took a monumental effort to not lose his temper and Tenzou reigned it in enough to just bite out the words instead "I think I'll be the judge of that, thank you." and he moved to pick up where he left off.

He pressed his lips together and went about putting up the files with quick efficiency, not pressing the point further.

He dropped his gaze back to the file, took a steadying breath and continued reading. It wasn't easy going. The more Tenzou read, the more he felt sick, but he witnessed it all, cover to cover, committing details to memory, like he could somehow share the weight of each fatality.

Obito came back over to him and waited, quiet as he examined his posture, the rigidity in his frame. He'd told him he didn't want to, even if he seemed to think he needed to.

Finally, Tenzou set the file aside, gloved hand resting on top of it as if he could contain what it held, stop it from escaping. "..I should have been assigned. We've never- I don't understand why." His voice broke at the last and he bit viciously on his bottom lip, fighting back the emotions he was struggling to contain.

"Come with me and we'll talk about it. Please." His tone was low, and he gestured for him to put the file away.

He couldn't look up, least his emotions get the better of him, but did as directed. The files were stacked and shuffled back into their rightful place, sealed away as if he'd never been there. Tenzou turned then, hands clenched into fists and inclined his head "Alright. Lead the way.."

He nodded once, then swiftly moved off and picked out a warded training room, waiting for the other man to be inside before activating the privacy seals and settling back on his heels, watching him. "It's not your fault in any way you know."

Tenzou followed and at the words, finally let the tension bleed out, sliding him down to the floor, back to the wall and hand covering his eyes. "We're always assigned. I had meant to question the rota, but never did. Maybe if I had.." He couldn't complete the thought, guilt and anger turning his gut.

"Did you know that your ANBU name is one of four cat names?" He was looking at him, tone serious, but he was watching him. It wasn't a pointless question.

He rubbed at his face, shooting Obito a dazed look and frowned "I..Of course but-" Tenzou shook his head "How is that relevant?"

"You're also aware that your file is very careful about how it phrases your abilities." He tilted his head slightly, but was very still, very alert.

"..I suppose so. Obito, where are you going with this?" Tenzou's attention was fully focused on the other man now, dark eyes searching and full with no small amount of trepidation.

"It's not your fault, and you should have been there. You weren't because I failed to properly account for the situation." It was a murmur and he shook his head, once. "And Kakashi paid for it. It's not on you."

Lead weight dropped into Tenzou's stomach, molten and aching and choking off any words he could have had. "..w-what?" It couldn't be. Only Minato-sama signed off on the ANBU roster, Obito couldn't be involved here, could he?

"It was a test for me, having me do it, and Sensei didn't... say a word against the choices I made. If the information had been as presented, it would have been sound. I didn't send a backup team, I didn't account for team abilities properly. It's my fault." He wasn't looking away from him though, focused. "Not yours. Never think it's yours." He paused, then let out a rough little breath. "I just have no idea how to tell Kakashi it isn't his."

He was stunned silent. Staring through Obito as he processed everything and slowly despairing as not a word of it made him feel any better. If anything, the shift of blame was even worse and Tenzou finally met Obito's gaze, dark eyes wet with emotion. "You have to tell him. Obito, he left-" The words choked off, the rest delivered around a sob "He left like nothing had happened."

He dipped his head slightly, giving it a single shake. "I think I missed my chance. He's- Kakashi is a lot happier than I've seen him in a long time. He hurts, it's really obvious, but... I think bringing it up might stop whatever he's letting happen from happening and I don't think I have it in me to do that."

That was the last hurt he could stand. It started as a tremble in his hands, across his shoulders and ended in the silent gasping cry. Tenzou crumpled forward, long hair spilling forward to mask his face and the tears crawling down each cheek. Kakashi was gone. Gone and hurt and he'd come to him, come to Tenzou the day after the mission and hadn't said a word. He'd been measured and been found wanting in helping his friend, missing whatever Kakashi had been looking for and now that door had closed. How could he go to him now?

Obito didn't hesitate here, even if he might be shoved away, slipping forward and to his knees, a hand touching the crown of his head as the other touched his shoulder. He didn't attempt to bare his face, it wasn't something he had the right to do and if Tenzou wanted to be seen, he would let him see him. "Hey, hey, he's not lost to you forever you know. He's- He's Kakashi. He closes up and hides what he can't, or won't, let himself feel. Remember what I told you when we met? You have to keep trying. Just... be patient. I'll find a way to fix it eventually, okay?"

Tenzou hardly noticed the comfort, lost in the last memory he had of his captain; the smile, the tilt his chin, nothing to give away what had happened. 'I'll see you tomorrow, Tenzou.' It was practically a promise in Kakashi's strange manner and it hurt all the more that it was the first ever broken between them. "I cant. Senpai trusted me with his life, b-but he couldn't with this. I-I can't."

He hesitated for only a moment, then resolved himself to be willing to take a punch if needed, and shifted forward to bring Tenzou into a hug. "I think he might have been trying to let you go."

Tense and shaking, he went with Obito's arms, forehead pressed to the other mans chest and hiding from the soft  light of the room. Tenzou hated this feeling; the ache and burn of a wound he couldn't defend against. He'd never been attached, never saw the need for stronger bonds than those of comrade.. until Kakashi. Close to eight years of facing the perils of ANBU together and he hadn't even been good enough to warrant the truth from his captain. ".. I'd have followed him through hell and back, Obito."

He tightened his hold, pressing his cheek against his long hair and nodding so he could feel it. "I know. I think you still would... but he doesn't want that kind of power over anyone now. You'll see and speak to him again, never doubt it Tenzou, okay? You will. You just have to decide how you'll feel about it when you do."

The likelihood of that happening seemed practically nonexistent at that moment and one thought dogged Tenzou's thoughts more than any other "Who's gonna be at m- a-at his back now though?" The stumble was too telling, but for years, Kakashi's warmth had been pressed to his own shoulders, figuratively and physically there to lean on but now..

He hugged him tighter, feeling the weight of responsibility for inspiring Kakashi to do this, for hurting his teammate enough that he hurt this person too. "I'm not Kakashi, as you know, and I'm not ANBU, so I can't back you up on missions, but I'm not going to abandon you. We've been friends, right? That means I'll back you up and support you. I'm going to be Hokage, soon I think, and I'm not going to ignore you when I get there. You help me and I'll help you. We'll support each other, okay?"

The idea of more of this feeling, made him want to be physically sick. A friend, a precious person, had inspired this, had caused this pain and the possibility of it becoming worse with each bond, made him almost long for the isolation of ROOT again. Obito was dear to him, someone he wanted to protect, but he choked on every word that would have him agreeing.

He could practically feel the force of Tenzou rejection of what he was offering, and he shifted his hold, running his fingers over his hair. "I won't expect you to believe or agree with it Tenzou. Just know it's been offered to you, okay?"

Tenzou nodded mutely against Obito's chest, guilt swirling to mix with the pain he was feeling, at not being able to respond. He appreciated what the other man was saying, but everything ached too much to invest any real emotion in the gesture. That and.. It just wasn't the same. What he'd lost with Kakashi, was not easily replaced and he quietly feared for himself.

He hugged him tighter and sighed, continuing to pet his hair and trying to figure out what else he could even say. Ultimately, he decided on pointing out a simple truth. "Maybe it'll help to think about beating him up for it in the future?"

That made his blood run cold. Their system of coping was now broken, Kakashi could dwell on these events for years without an outlet. Cheeks still wet, but sadness momentarily forgotten, he lifted his head to look at Obito, hands grasping the sides of his shirt. "You have to tell him, or get him to talk or work through this, Obito. I can't just.. set my hopes on the future, I might not even be here." He met truth for truth and searched the other mans face.

"You'll be here." The words were stated as a fact, and he took in a deep breath. "I'll try to get him to talk but I can't just... he has to let me. I really don't think he actually will unless I attack him with it and we both know that won't exactly help. It might take forever but I promise you that this will be worked out somehow, okay? Just... just don't be angry with me if it does take a long time? Please?"

He gripped Obito's shirt tighter, tears welling more at the thought of what he was asking "If attacking is what it takes! You can't let this destroy him. I can deal with everything else, but Kakashi has to recover from this, e-even if I can't help." It felt like a blow to the gut even having to ask, but Tenzou couldn't carry on without knowing that at least someone he could trust was there for Kakashi.

"I won't let him be destroyed. I won't." He shook his head. "I won't let him. I just..." He took a deep breath, firming his resolve. "I'll give him time to open up to me about it, and if not, I'll find the right time to bring up my part of it and open it up that way, okay? Promise."

Tenzou studied his face hard for sincerity and finally nodded, tension leaving him and sadness returning. He dropped his head again and breathed out a heavy sigh. ".. Alright."

"I'll just try to make sure that 'right time' doesn't mean ten years for now or something." He grimaced at him. "But, I won't let him fall apart and will put him together as best I can in the meantime." He nodded once, firmly. "When you see him again he won't be a total wreck, and you will see him again even if I have to drag you two together myself."

He nodded again, leaning forward into the circle of Obito's arms and squeezing his sides in the awkward approximation of a hug. He would trust in that for now. As long as Kakashi could recover from this, could thrive and serve his village, then Tenzou would carry on and swallow his own sorrow for the sake of  his friend.