sunshineverse | [Closed] You see I struggle to sleep at night, but it's fine..

He didn't say anything else, clearly meaning his words as stated, instead just leaning back on the tree and waiting, watching him and examining the way he was moving, his mood and how tense he was. In spite of what he sometimes led people to believe, he was patient, and he'd stated his intentions clearly enough he didn't see any reason to further press the point.

The kata continued, cycling through until Yamato's limbs were completely numb from the effort. A final, decisive palm struck at the heart of the target, a death blow if there ever was one, leaving him panting and tired, but no less furious.

Still, when the words came, they echoed weakly in the absence of noise, desperately holding onto the shreds of his self control in more ways than one.

"Please, Obito. As a Hokage, I know you have to ask the question, have to know why I froze up.."

He leant against the target, head hung between his still heaving shoulders and gaze fixed firmly on the ground.

"..But as a friend, please trust me. I will deal with this, now that I know that it's something to be dealt with, just.. Don't make me raise those ghosts, I can't-" He shook his head, took a deep breath and forged on "If I need it, I'll come to you, I'll ask for help, but if you have any faith in me at all, exercise it now and just this once, let it be.."

It was all he could say and the only thing he could offer.

"I understand it hurts you, but I don't understand why it scares you enough to make you angry at the thought of telling me. And I don't think I can understand that without knowing. You realize that, don't you?" It was all said very quietly, and he still hadn't taken his eyes off him.

He paused, considering saying more... then thought the better of it and fell quiet.

He rounded on Obito, awful and ugly with rage and a number of emotions that he didn't even have names for.

"This isn't about you, Obito! I'm angry because I can't control what happens, I can't reign in the panic or completely predict what will cause it! I'm scared because this could impact my duty beyond repair and yet, hasn't been a problem up until last week! And what you need to understand is that I cannot have this goddamn conversation without repercussions that I'm not prepared to put myself through!"

Yamato threw it all at him. He didn't deserve details, but Obito could be a target for his fury and damn well put up with it if he was going to insist on pushing, even after he'd all but begged him not to.

"Never said it was about me." He raised his eyebrows, taking in his words and tucking them away to think about in greater depth later. "That was also a yes or no question, but thank you for explaining in spite of that." He finally pushed away from the tree.

"Believe it of not, that really was all it was Tenzou."

That seemingly cool indifference was the last straw.

With a roar, the tree at Obito's back detonated, the sudden chakra influx shattering it to splinters and bursting outwards. The ground below their feet rumbled, cracked, fissures spreading wide and deep, with no regard for what stood in their path. This was untamed, chakra expended with no finesse, wielded only by sheer force of will and little care for anything else.

He'd wanted this on his own terms, to not have to drag those thoughts or that helplessness up from the deep too soon, but wasn't even afforded that courtesy. Obito got exactly what he wanted, as he always had and all because Yamato was already cracked and easily broken.

The yell tore from him, turning him hoarse but he had little use for a voice, not now, even if a thousand words still clogged his throat.

The wreckage continued on.

Reflex saved him serious injury.

Much as he trusted the man, he'd trained himself in a way, much to Kakashi's never ending distress, that meant that if something could kill him, it was only natural that his body let the attack through instead of staying in the middle of it to get hit. He'd be tired, horribly tired, when all was said and done, but the point here was not to let the other man do something to him he might regret later.

Instead of defending himself, he just moved away from the holes in the ground, padding over it and letting attacks pass through like he wasn't even there as he set about the process of waiting the other man out.

The ground churned and the tree's wailed, groaning under the force of the chakra being funneled into them. The row of target dummies to his right buckled, growing gnarled and grotesque with no direction behind their growth.

Yamato fell to his knees at the center of the chaos, finally drained and sore enough to let the initial burst of anger dissipate.

He was distantly aware of Obito during the outburst but his mind shied away, something about that hurt, made him ache and feel small and long for the day before when he'd felt safe.

Everything felt too close, too keen, like a kunai edge under his ribs and in the wake of the destruction he'd caused, that need for control was like a burn he couldn't hope to sooth.

He approached only when everything seemed to stop, kneeling down in front of him. He didn't try to touch him, instead settling himself so that if the other man looked, he would be there.

He opened his mouth, hesitated. A beat later, and he decided to say nothing, just tilting his head to examine his face.

His mind was oddly blank, burnt clear by the physical exertion and had been what Yamato had set out to induce when Obito first made his presence known.
This had been the effect of his bouts with Kakashi in ANBU, vicious and precise battles conducted in an abandoned training ground, away from those that knew them and away from their reputations; something to burn off the emotions he'd never known what to do with growing up.

This didn't feel like a resolution though, it was a stop gap, nothing more; a way to claw back his usual iron control and he could feel it now, settling over him like cool porcelain, the numbness of his body, syncing up with that of his mind.

He was aware of Obito, knew the other man was there, but didn't acknowledge him, gaze focused on the torn ground under his knees and letting the breeze cool his overheated skin.

He finally reached out, resting a hand on the other man, touch light. It was easy enough to brush away, or avoid, but the contact was there. He had the sense that talking would just make everything worse, and he didn't particularly want that...

So instead he'd see how he reacted to this.

Dark eyes flickered to the side, taking in Obito's extended hand and then briefly up to match their gazes, before dropping to the remains of the packed earth under them. His frame was carefully held, hands relaxed but muscles poised, fueled by self preservation and a reserve of energy that was always maintained.

"What the hell else do you want, Obito?"

The words barely made it out past the sand paper coating of his throat but they were no less hostile for it.

The smile that touched his face was entirely humorless. "More a don't. I don't want to leave you here like this. It's my fault that you're in this state, currently I mean."

He shook his head slightly. "I like to think I learn from my mistakes."

Something sharp flashed in dark eyes and Yamato bit the inside of his cheek as he stood, remarkably steady for all that his legs were beginning to cramp.

"Well then, I'll absolve you of that guilt. I would have worked myself to that, with or with out your prompting. Like I said before, this isn't about you; my anger isn't directed outwards, none of this is."

He left that hanging between them, retrieving his discarded flak and returning, purposely out of strike range and regarded the middle distance.

"What now then, does this go official?"

"Why would it?" He pushed to his feet, brushing off his pants and looking at him. "You're my friend, I'm not going to endanger you."

"Then as my friend, please let this lie, Obito. I can't give you what you want..not right now at least.."

The fact that he had to ask again, burnt a trail down his throat. Yamato had never wanted for anyone to have to make exceptions for him, duty wise or personally, but the thought of anyone else knowing, of their faith in him being shaken more than it already had, felt like it could ruin him.

"I didn't intend to ask you for anymore after you asked the first time. I suppose the way I put my acceptance of that didn't make that very clear, but it's still true." He shook his head slightly, holding his gaze and examining him carefully.

He studied Obito for a long moment, gauging the honesty behind that, paranoia dogging his heels even through the induced calm he felt.

Finally Yamato nodded, slipping back into his flak and turning to the wreckage of the training ground, clasping his hands and preparing to smooth out at least a little of the damage; he'd be exhausted afterwards and with any luck, the sleep he'd catch in the day lit hours would be considerably more productive than the previous night.

He let out a soft breath, then moved back toward his original position, pausing after a few steps. "Tenzou? If you come by I have a cookie recipe I keep meaning for you to try."

Slowly the fissures began to knit together and the training posts morphed straight, all taking on a Lion's head of their own, but otherwise showed no record of the scene they had been apart of. The further chakra drain was immediate, though only apparent in the low set of his shoulders and the heaviness of Yamato's already bruising hands.

His eyes closed at the invitation, filing it away for consideration and a measured breath later, he was turning away, calling out lowly before beginning a steady but slow pace back toward the village proper.

"..Some time later, Obito..but thank you."

"Anything for a friend Tenzou." He smiled, lopsided and a bit rueful, then shook his head and started back himself.

He'd maybe not gotten an exact answer, but he'd still gotten an important one. He'd just have to wait for the someday that brought him the details.

[Closed] You see I struggle to sleep at night, but it's fine..

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject