Sakura Haruno (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
notveryspecial) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
sunshineverse2014-07-12 08:09 pm
notveryspecial) wrote in sunshineverse2014-07-12 08:09 pm
Entry tags:
Secrets are the only thing they keep [Closed]
Who: Sakura and Shisui
Where: Konoha. Shisui's place, possibly some other random place.
When: Late night on July 3rd
What: What is a shishou for but complaining about a confusing Hokage to?
She hadn't actually planned to go back out that night, as she'd expected just to have a brief conversation with Shisui about the Hokage via scroll. Ideally to settle whether it was best to dissuade the Hokage by avoiding going to the training at all, or proving to him by sparring with him what her level actually was.
And also just to see whether anyone would have understood him up until the point he explained himself clearly. She was curious about that.
It worried her that he felt the need to discuss it in person instead, and that their usual meeting place wasn't a good place for that. Optimistically, it just meant that he didn't feel the need to go there to talk. She wasn't entirely sure that was the case, however.
True to her word, though, she didn't delay leaving the house, leaving through her window rather than bother explaining herself to her dozing parents. It was only a few minutes before she'd crossed Konoha and made it to his window.
...She could have used the door, but she went out through a window, so she might as well knock on one of his.
Where: Konoha. Shisui's place, possibly some other random place.
When: Late night on July 3rd
What: What is a shishou for but complaining about a confusing Hokage to?
She hadn't actually planned to go back out that night, as she'd expected just to have a brief conversation with Shisui about the Hokage via scroll. Ideally to settle whether it was best to dissuade the Hokage by avoiding going to the training at all, or proving to him by sparring with him what her level actually was.
And also just to see whether anyone would have understood him up until the point he explained himself clearly. She was curious about that.
It worried her that he felt the need to discuss it in person instead, and that their usual meeting place wasn't a good place for that. Optimistically, it just meant that he didn't feel the need to go there to talk. She wasn't entirely sure that was the case, however.
True to her word, though, she didn't delay leaving the house, leaving through her window rather than bother explaining herself to her dozing parents. It was only a few minutes before she'd crossed Konoha and made it to his window.
...She could have used the door, but she went out through a window, so she might as well knock on one of his.
You don't see this, I just realized I broke the icon keyword 8|
As for his, or what was apparently his, she remained quiet while he spoke. Which was a different sort of quiet than she might normally have been. And perhaps, the tone of voice he used--one she was well trained on focusing on and listening to when her mind was still chaos and tatters from genjutsu she either couldn't counter or that took its toll on her even when she did--prevented her from immediately speaking up an objection that he, too, would call her arrogant. Of all things.
...It was an uncomfortable and confusing position to be in, too soft and...human for her experience and preference. Her closest friends operated with their own walls, Shino and Ino both had facades that she met or copied when she was with them. She was sure that he was using some sort of mask himself, one meant to make her listen to and believe him, but it was so strange that she...wasn't sure how to react.
Her expression was, necessarily, a softer and more open form of confusion and uncertainty than she'd normally display at someone using the sort of words he did (or the brief physical contact, that she ended up staring down at her arm for several moments afterward in an attempt to process and calculate). Ultimately, she still returned her gaze back to his in the hope of determining the appropriate response (what he wanted out of her, or what she felt was the best response to it), rather than continue to look away from him and be further confused.
Eventually, she did turn her gaze back to her hands, entirely uncertain of what would be an appropriate answer. He sounded...sincere about his belief in her ability to be a jounin. And she trusted him. She trusted him implicitly, which meant he couldn't be lying. And normally...that meant she should believe him.
He couldn't really be right, though. About the Hokage, perhaps, but...it wasn't like she was wrong about what others saw when they looked at her. In basic genjutsu lessons she knew full well he'd seen what others thought of her. It was the most natural thing to attack first, and thus an early thing that a genjutsu teacher would have seen.
To them...to her, she...wasn't. She was not all that. It wasn't a false view. That was...
It wasn't wrong. Haruno are nothing. Haruno is just a failure.
"It's not like she deserves to be here anyway."
She grit her teeth, bit her cheek, and shook her head sharply. What other people thought about her...why were the Hokage and he so determined to make her care? If she earned her way to being a shinobi on her own, then it didn't matter if anyone else agreed. Why did they think she needed to be convinced that anyone else agreed?
It didn't make sense at all.
She spoke softly, much as he did, but her voice was...really so quiet if he heard her it would only be because they sat so close to each other at the moment. "...You're not...right...."