[closed]

[morningpeacock]

Who: Gai and Obito
When: 26th of October
Where: Konoha, Gai's apartment
What: After the debrief, Obito comes to talk to Gai.



Gai had headed out after that debriefing to train, spending the entire day in the training fields until he dragged himself home for dinner and a shower. There was nothing in the mission that had been all that taxing physically, but he was exhausted emotionally and a good training session with plenty of self-challenges had always helped with mental and emotional clarity, or at the very least, distraction.

He just wished Lee hadn't been away on a mission. He needed someone to talk to, someone to smile at him today. Not even the girl at the take-out place had.

A shower later and he was seated at his dining table, eating the takeout with one hand and lifting a dumbbell with the other. He had to train harder. By itself, the dumbbell wasn't a significant challenge, but he could certainly use some work with the chopsticks in his less-dominant hand. Coordination, multitasking, dexterity. Every skill was worth pushing further.

Comments

[thebestuchiha]

He peered at Gai for a moment, then shook his head. "It's very strange to see you being so insecure Gai. You don't understand what I'm saying at all."

He leaned forward, unlacing his hands and putting them on either side of himself to support the motion.

"Kakashi is not ANBU. I understood exactly what they were doing and why they were doing it. This way Kakashi has no need to focus on that when he can find a purpose out here. Kakashi has always been someone who wants to sacrifice, and I don't understand how you can miss that at all. Out here... he's been searching for security he doesn't think he has. He can look at you and see you had students, he can look at me and see I'm Hokage, he can look at Rin and see she had built an entire hospital from the ground up. Sensei isn't a Hokage anymore, but he's still a legendary man, Kushina-nee is a mother and a leader. Is it any wonder he feels like he's no longer unique in this village? The people around him all have visible legacies, and he doesn't."

Then he leaned back, spreading his hands. "Being ANBU might not be a legacy, but that's the point. Being out here is a different world than in there."

[morningpeacock]

"No, I do not understand. I do not see why Eternal Rival cannot be enough of a unique legacy for him. It is visible! It is meant to last forever! It is precious! Important!" He kneaded a throw pillow in his hands before tossing it aside.

"And I know he wants to sacrifice--I know he sees that appeal in ANBU, but... He has sacrificed enough already, and he is not trying to find a purpose out here! He ran back to ANBU. How do you know he will not run back there again? How do we make him feel secure when he will not even let himself feel secure?" We, he said, but he really meant himself. It was frustrating to realize that Obito and Yamato were both able to change Kakashi, but Gai felt like he was trying to move a mountain.

[thebestuchiha]

"Kakashi was checking on the closest thing he had to a legacy Gai." He gave him a stern look, Hokage through ad through for a moment. The weight of his disappointment was heavy. "He wasn't running back to ANBU, and you're letting your personal affection blind you when you're usually so clearsighted. He's not the boy he once was and you of all people should be able to see that."

He took a beat to gather his composure and calm his displeasure.

"Being your rival won't be there if something happens to him. That's not a legacy, that's a gift. Don't confuse the two."

[morningpeacock]

A gift? A gift didn't sound nearly as special. Their Rivalry was more than that. It was something, in Gai's mind, that would outlive both of them. It would be something people would talk about, even if only to call them a bit crazy. It was something he could inspire in Neji and Lee, and maybe in others, if Kakashi was ever so inclined to have students of his own. Rivalry would be what Gai and Kakashi would have when the ninja world was done with them. Even if it wasn't a legacy, it was ...everything.

"I can see that he has changed, I can," he insisted. It wasn't like he saw all that much of Kakashi. They had been busy these five years, and before that was ANBU, but he could see changes. "But I am tried of being left behind and doing nothing about it."

[thebestuchiha]

He gave a very slow blink at that, staring at Gai for a long moment in silence. "Gai, I'm pretty sure Kakashi is the one feeling left behind for once."

He shook his head then, going totally serious. "I really can't let you keep belittling ANBU."

[morningpeacock]

Maybe so, but that didn't make Gai's feelings invalid either. Maybe they just both needed to find their place again.

As for ANBU, Gai very determinedly bit his tongue on the subject. "Of course, Hokage-sama. I have no reason to discuss ANBU."

[thebestuchiha]

"Are you even aware of the insult you give everyone in it past and present in your view?" It was a murmur, low and stern.

[morningpeacock]

"I admire the people. I do not admire the organization. What a ninja does is already covert. But the nature of ANBU is...difficult. And the things it inspires in and asks of its people is worrisome. I understand its purpose for you and your need to defend it, but I do not like it."

[thebestuchiha]

"Like I told you in the office Gai. That mask could not make you ANBU. ANBU is creating oneself, without expectation of anything but to be ANBU, to be the protectors and whatever else the village needs so that others don't need to be dirtied by it. Do you understand?"

[morningpeacock]

"I understand, but I do not think they all 'created themselves.' Neji may have made a choice, but do you think they all have? Because I think the village created Kakashi to be an ANBU. The village, and its requirements of him during the war and its expectations of him. I do not know Yamato's story, but I think he is too far in and indoctrinated to know anything else. I think they do it because they know nothing else and so it is therefore their 'choice' to go with what they have been created to do."

[thebestuchiha]

"No Gai." His tone was stern, and he gave him a hard look, clearly displeased. "You do not understand how one becomes ANBU at all. A person can't get into ANBU without taking the steps that lead them to becoming one. Don't cast aspirations on something just because you don't understand it. You won't understand it, and that's why you don't belong there. That doesn't mean you have any cause to insult good people just because it's outside your worldview."

[morningpeacock]

And there was the rift, the one that had kept him locked out of part of Kakashi's life was now closing a door between him and Obito. And it hurt. He wouldn't understand, he couldn't understand, and he would never fit in. No one would talk to him about it, and so he would never, could never, even try. Being part of the mission hardly could have done much when the whole situation was problematic to begin with.

"I spoke out of turn. I understand. Please send them my apologies."

[thebestuchiha]

"You can apologize yourself. To Yamato especially. He's the most adamant defender of ANBU you will ever find, and spitting on ANBU to him is like you've personally insulted him and everything he believes in." He let out a soft sigh. "He's one of my most important subordinates."

He shook his head once. "And more personally, he's part of a rather small circle of friends I've got. Though he'd fight down anyone knowing that given how seriously he takes security."

[morningpeacock]

Why was it always Yamato? Gai tried so hard to not take it as a personal insult but Yamato was Neji's senpai, the one Kakashi chose to vent his frustrations to, now Obito was defending him as a friend and important subordinates. Maybe Kakashi and Obito should both be dating Yamato instead.

He hated being jealous. It was unyouthful and disgraceful. Unfair to all involved and frustratingly hard to shake off.

"Yes, sir. I meant no offense to you, either. I am sorry if it was taken as such."

[thebestuchiha]

"Yeah, well, I don't just shove people in ANBU to destroy them you know, even if that's what you seem to think it is." He pressed his lips together, then drew in a deep breath before letting it out carefully.

[morningpeacock]

"I know you do not. I never said you did so. It is an institution."

[thebestuchiha]

"And every person there is there on my behalf." It was a simple, quiet statement, and he met and held his gaze.

[morningpeacock]

"It was not created by you." Gai held his gaze. "But yes, I understand. Is there anything else, sir?"

[thebestuchiha]

He lifted his chin. "We can move on to personal points."

[morningpeacock]

He took a deep breath. "Oh, right."

[thebestuchiha]

"If you'd gotten yourself killed with this stunt I never would have forgiven you." It was a blunt statement, without any real change of tone.

[morningpeacock]

"I know, and I am sorry, Obito. You have every right to feel that way. It was a decision in the moment and I am glad that neither you, nor Kakashi, nor Neji, have to live with those consequences of my mistake."

[thebestuchiha]

"Yay? I seriously hope this hasn't ratcheted up Tenzou's resistance another notch or I'm going to break something. Seriously Gai, I've been working on that man for over two years." He shifted, leaning over to snag one of Gai's hands and tugging. "But not as important as you doing something Kakashi level of stupid m'kay? I wanted to go over my desk and punch you into the damn wall this morning."

[morningpeacock]

He raised a brow. Working on him how? What exactly was Yamato and Obito's relationship anyway? No, the jealousy could go away already, please.

Gai smiled a small, soft smile, leaning forward with the tug and giving Obito's hand a squeeze. "A punch would have been easier than facing the Hokage's disappointment in words. And if you still feel inclined, aim for the exterior wall, please? My neighbors will not enjoy having their walls come down, and Yamato will not enjoy having to rebuild them."

[thebestuchiha]

"Yes well, he'll be rebuilding half the damn village in the next two weeks and he deserves it for being a little shit." He narrowed his eyes with that mutter and took a deep breath. "But he's almost as stubborn as I am so that's that. And no, I'm not punching you. You're not getting off that easy. You're just as much at fault as the other two idiots. And don't think Neji is getting off easy either, that boy is going to be on my personal guard rotation for the next couple weeks."