scarecrowboy: (Default)
Hatake Kakashi ([personal profile] scarecrowboy) wrote in [community profile] sunshineverse2014-11-07 02:23 am

[Closed] Where the hurt is.

Who: Kakashi Hatake & Obito Uchiha.
When: October 9.
Where: Obito's home, probably late afternoon.



The first sign that he'd been avoiding this a little too long came when he approached Obito's home. The ANBU guards standing stationary outside followed him with their masks, hidden gazes lingering just a touch longer than they would have normally before they let him pass, seemingly surprised that his chakra signature proved he was who he seemed to be.
The second came when he walked through the quiet house, and noticed that now he felt almost alien in the four walls he'd spent so much time in before, like he'd wandered into some strange universe where everything seemed exactly the same but a little bit... off...

It was worrying, and his stomach gave a little grumble of unease that traveled right up his gullet and into his throat. Maybe this really was too soon.... It had only been a day since his talk with Gai, after all--

Kakashi steeled his reserve as he leaned against the wall to take off his sandals. No, he had to do this; now or never. He'd heard from a few reasonably reliable sources that Obito was fine and doing well, that there was no need for him to worry-- But Kakashi knew well enough what fine meant.
If he left it much longer, Obito might get the wrong idea - if he hadn't already. He needed to clear the air now, make sure Obito understood, and.. give him a proper chance to explain. That was what Gai had told him to do. Give Obito another chance to apologize - and Kakashi had an apology of his own to give, too.

He swallowed the lump in his throat and once his sandals were off, started to wander through the house in search of the Uchiha.

"Obito?"
 
thebestuchiha: (A beat of solemn)

[personal profile] thebestuchiha 2014-11-07 02:47 am (UTC)(link)
He was home, but not by much, having taken an early day so he could get some grocery shopping done. The visit from Tenzou had really highlighted to him that his appetite had taken a bit of a dip since he'd only gone once since his talk with Kakashi, and he hadn't gotten much then besides. It wasn't good, and if this drew out... then he couldn't afford for his own weakness to hurt the village in any way.

The crying had helped soothe him, a little, but not enough that he could really afford to put any optimism into it being any other way in the future. That meant that Kakashi would find him finishing up in putting away the groceries he had gotten, movements careful and even, wasting nothing.

It also meant that when Kakashi's chakra touched his senses he was surprised enough to still entirely for a breath before closing the door of his fridge on hearing his name.

He didn't turn to face him though, needing a moment to steel himself, and his tone was quiet. Ambiguous.

"Kakashi."
thebestuchiha: (I like that idea.)

[personal profile] thebestuchiha 2014-11-07 04:08 pm (UTC)(link)
The regret was probably justified. The question made him feel cold. He was still for a breath longer before he managed to wrap cheer around himself like a shield, straightening up some as he turned around, a faint smile on his lips that he really didn't feel. He moved to put his grocery bag away where it lived beside where Kakashi was standing. He could do nothing for his economy of movement, but he could seem otherwise relaxed, if less cheerful than normal.

For Kakashi he could do this, so he would.

His tone was just a touch wry, lighter than a moment before. "I don't see why you need to ask."
thebestuchiha: (This is me being not impressed with you.)

[personal profile] thebestuchiha 2014-11-07 08:31 pm (UTC)(link)
The smile faded, and he studied his face carefully for a moment, then dipped his head a touch as he came to stand directly in front of him. His tone was... flat. "Okay. I've been miserable."

He shrugged it away, then shifted on his feet to duck around where he was in the doorway to head to another part of the house.
thebestuchiha: (A beat of solemn)

[personal profile] thebestuchiha 2014-11-07 09:47 pm (UTC)(link)
He slowed for a moment,t hen moved off to curl up in his armchair, looking at Kakashi. He knew he was being followed, and while normally it would be comforting, at the moment it just sort of... hurt. He really didn't know where Kakashi was going with this, but wherever it was, he supposed he should just man up and accept it.

"Okay. Then... whatever you want to say."
thebestuchiha: (I need to be serious about this.)

[personal profile] thebestuchiha 2014-11-08 12:42 am (UTC)(link)
He was quiet while Kakashi spoke, looking back at him quietly and felt a lopsided ghost of a smile come and go again. Kakashi hadn't said he wasn't angry at him before, and he wasn't sure if Kakashi even realized that. At least, if he had, he certainly didn't remember it happening. He didn't look away though, just drawing his legs up into the chair and taking a deep breath... before letting it out a bit roughly.

"I didn't expect any apology Kakashi." The murmur was carefully parsed, soft, low, but even. Steady. "I didn't mean to hurt you with when I picked, but I picked it for a reason. More selfishness I'm afraid, on my behalf that is. So I apologize for that." He shook his head once, leaning back against the chair back. "What else do you need to say to me?"
thebestuchiha: (Expressionless for a reason.)

[personal profile] thebestuchiha 2014-11-08 02:31 am (UTC)(link)
"You know we never got together because you weren't involved, right?" It was almost offhand, simple, soft, and he tilted his head a little, never losing that steadiness he was leaning so hard on. He needed that to get through this or he'd fall to pieces.

That wouldn't help anything.

"The first time we kissed you even came up, and it was... just kind of there. Does this mean you've decided... you don't want to be involved anymore then?"
thebestuchiha: (Not quite to tears...)

[personal profile] thebestuchiha 2014-11-08 02:55 am (UTC)(link)
He closed his eyes, honestly not sure what Kakashi was expecting out of him, but it hurt. It hurt a lot. "That's not true. That's never been true."

He opened his eyes after a moment, but was just staring slightly to the left of Kakashi at first. "But words have never exactly been a thing that gets through so arguing with you isn't about to get me anywhere is it?"

He slid his gaze back to him, keeping his voice even and low, tightly controlled. "Just be clear with me Kakashi. Please."
thebestuchiha: (A beat of solemn)

[personal profile] thebestuchiha 2014-11-08 03:15 am (UTC)(link)
He wavered for a moment, swallowing thickly and fighting to hold onto his composure. Why was this so hard? Why couldn't he just do this? He bit down tighter on his emotions in return.

"I don't know what to say. I don't know what you intend to do. You're not... it's not clear what you want to do. You feel unequal, you aren't. I never had to worry about where I stood with you, because I always stood somewhere. Now I'm... not as sure. So tell me what this is.Don't confuse it in contradiction, okay?"
thebestuchiha: (Let me think here.)

[personal profile] thebestuchiha 2014-11-08 08:54 am (UTC)(link)
"Are you saying you're done Kakashi?" It was hard, to show nothing one way or another, because this hurt. It hurt a lot. "Because I don't know what it changed, really, to notice something already there. It's not like I was asking you to jump into bed with me, and I know Gai wasn't either." He quieted, breathing carefully, focusing on the even pattern to settle himself, retreating behind calm. He'd gotten good at it, and it wasn't like this was any kind of place for him to be hurt.

That wouldn't be fair. "So if you don't want it, I guess I'll just have to accept that. Okay? But don't go throwing it in Gai's face if it's just me either, okay? I may have asked you both, but it's not like it wasn't something that hadn't been silently agreed on anyway." He flashed a brief, oddly even smile that was gone again as quickly. "I got impatient. Stupid of me."
thebestuchiha: (This is a horrible day.)

[personal profile] thebestuchiha 2014-11-08 09:13 am (UTC)(link)
He dipped his head then, bringing a hand up to press against his face. It was quivering some with how hard he was clinging to his emotions. "Do you have some confused idea that ducking out after I got you is somehow going to hurt me less Kakashi?"
thebestuchiha: (It fucking hurts okay.)

[personal profile] thebestuchiha 2014-11-08 09:26 am (UTC)(link)
The touch killed his resolve to hold onto his composure then and there, and a sob escaped him almost immediately, then another as he hid his face, unable to stop the tears from coming anymore. It hurt too much, and it just made him feel more terrible because he tried to be so good about this. He'd been trying so hard to let Kakashi just decide this without- without feeling guilty or something because of him.

"I'm sorry. I couldn't- I can't." He shifted, then threw his arms around his shoulders. "Please, I'm sorry."
thebestuchiha: (It fucking hurts okay.)

[personal profile] thebestuchiha 2014-11-08 09:38 am (UTC)(link)
He shook his head and dragged him closer, holding onto him tightly like that was going to make him change his mind even as he cried harder, twisting his fingers in the cloth of Kakashi's shirt like he was trying to keep him from escapng. First he pushed them away, fine, Kakashi did that, then he almost died, and he couldn't see or talk to him for weeks. Now this? He couldn't do it. He knew on some level he wasn't being left behind and abandoned by the person he'd managed to convince himself wouldn't do it, but it still felt like that.

And it felt like he'd done it to himself. "Don't leave. Please. Please."
thebestuchiha: (It fucking hurts okay.)

[personal profile] thebestuchiha 2014-11-08 10:06 am (UTC)(link)
Kakashi might have gotten more careful, but Obito had lost all ability to do so himself. It was like Tenzou's visit had been a sort warm up for the real thing, because this was so so much worse. It hurt worse, it was harder to speak and not speak, and his resolve was broken into itty bitty bits by how hard it was to believe that when he'd braced himself for just that for weeks.

It was too hard, and when he started talking it was a rush of words, broken with half choked sobs so he could talk around them and augmented by the too tight hold. "You didn't say. You said you said and you didn't say. I just knew you were angry. At me. And told me to go away. And you were still hurt. You'd almost died and you were still hurt and you made me go away. But I went and I waited and I knew. And I'm sorry. I did try, I swear I tried but I couldn't, and it was so long and I couldn't and it went just like I thought." He was shaking his head again, now, half crawling off the chair to get closer as he kept talking. "Was going to be good about it because it was my fault. If you decided to just stay away but it's too hard Kakashi and I can't, and I'm sorry because I wasn't going to cry. I wasn't. I wasn't going to do that to you."

"I'm sorry. Just don't go away please. I can't. I can't anymore."

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